1. Pizza in the morning.
Upon rising, one could, in theory, have a bagel in its customary breakfast form—toasted with a spreadable condiment. This type of bagel is vastly inferior to the Bagel Bite, which is topped with calcium- and protein-rich items suitable for fueling the energy of eight-year-old warriors on Rollerblades.
2. Pizza in the evening.
Young scholars return to their domiciles to begin their extracurricular training, engaging in such crepuscular activities as electronic games and stick-ball. Would one provide these gentlemen and women with so-called “healthy” snacks such as “carrot sticks” and “fruit”? Nay! For only Bagel Bites can foster brotherly festivities.
3. Pizza at supper time.
When one caters to the least discerning of palates, one should not subject adolescents to gastronomic whimsy lest you desire a 6 o’clock coup d’etat. Combining facility, deliciousness, and an element of fun, Bagel Bites are the only acceptable dinnertime sustenance.
4. When pizza’s on a bagel, you can have pizza anytime.
- Illinois' attorney general has asked the U.S. Department of Justice's Civil Rights Division to investigate Chicago's police department. ›
- Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg says he'll give away 99% of his Facebook shares (worth $45 billion today) over the course of his life. ›
- And a Turkish court had to call in experts to determine whether a man comparing the country's president to Gollum from "Lord of the Rings" was an insult. ›