7. Dream-life status attainment: An afternoon spent in your wicker bed reading correspondence written on floral stationery while you gingerly sip your vanilla-passion-brambleberry tea.
8. Of course, have a cat. Preferably a ginger one you name something quaint like “Nutmeg” or “Lady Aurora.”
9. Fuck it, just wear that 19th century bustle to the office already. You know you want to.
10. You should live in a house like this where the toilets still have old-fashioned pull chains and the fridge is called an icebox.
11. You are a woman who delights in the fine art of wildflower arrangement.
12. If you don’t have a garden… OH GOD… How could you not have a garden?
13. Decorate inanimate objects with 18th-century nobility childrenswear.
14. One must know the soul of a rose. You are incomplete without this deeply philosophical understanding.
15. Come autumn, wear lots of flannel and prance among the foliage with children and kittens.
16. THE simplest pleasure is not sex nor chocolate nor a good book; it’s standing sideways over your antique basin sink as you wash your face.
18. And let’s just admit it. This new-fangled age of technology blows. Make your life look like a goddamned Edith Wharton novel.
Here Are The Top Stories
- The U.S. will release Israeli spy Jonathan Pollard after 30 years. The move isn't tied to the Iran nuclear deal, American officials say.
- Officials released new footage proving Sandra Bland was "alive and well" when her mugshot was taken. The release aims to counter social media rumors that she was deceased in the photo.
- The NFL has upheld Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's four-game suspension for his alleged involvement with the deflation of footballs 🏈