1. He says the complete opposite of what he actually feels. He DOESN’T LIKE YOU, OK?
2. He always says your name in greeting and never just “hey.”
3. If he engages in physical combat with you.
4. Does he make you feel like a total jackass? Congrats! He likes you!
5. If he never initiates contact face-to-face.
6. If he makes fun of your appearance.
7. If he is comfortable with — nay, compelled by — the freaky contents of your handbag.
8. If you ever catch him observing your beauty through a camera. Sometimes they need to pretend to be Spielberg to understand their own feelings.
9. Has he started dressing differently?
10. In, like, “cool” outfits?
11. And even potentially risky ones?
12. He might sign up for something or learn a new skill related to your interests, hoping that he might either a) spend more time near you, b) impress you, or c) both!
13. When all else fails, something like this might happen. At which point you’ll be like, “Oh, obviously. Cool.”
14. But this philosophy and way of life is far more common for the male species. UGH.
This is not true, James Franco!