1. For the love of God, wrap it up.
3. Family’s great. But you can only take so much.
4. Don’t get a cat. Just don’t.
5. Because unlike dogs, they don’t come when they’re called and are therefore impossible to find.
6. How to deal with people in the medical professions and/or what to say to that guy you dated who “awesomely” referred to himself as “the vagina doctor.”
7. Everyone else in the world is fuckin’ stupid.
8. Everyone else in the world is fuckin’ insane.
9. Don’t ever label something as a success unless you’ve smelled it and it smells like armpit.
10. Not to be a buzzkill, but this is kind of how it is. Just shut up and deal with it.
12. Technology fuckin’ sucks.
Phones that call themselves “smart” are so arrogant.
13. Men: It’s okay to be confused. You don’t always have to be in control. Ask questions. Ask for directions.
- California Republican Kevin McCarthy has dropped out of the race to be the next speaker of the U.S. House. ›
- FIFA has suspended its president Sepp Blatter, secretary general Jerome Valcke, and vice-president Michel Platini for 90 days. ›
- Congressional Democrats are urging the TSA to change its screening procedures for transgender passengers. ›