1. Stick began hosting “Nick in the Afternoon” in 1995, enjoying a three-year run until he got canned in ‘98.
He did remarkably well for a popsicle stick with a severe anxiety disorder.
2. Stick mainly came on during commercial breaks, but in 1995, he had a breakout role in the half-hour special, “Oh Brother.”
In Oh Brother, Stick travels to New York City to find his long-lost twin, Woodknot, whom he believes he’ll find by hanging around the Twin Towers.
3. Stick was often put in uncomfortable situations, which would elevate his anxiety.
One regular stunt was “Dip Stick,” in which he would be lowered into a cup and have to guess its contents. Stick was especially gifted for a piece of wood — he was able to absorb tastes, smells, temperatures, and textures.
4. He had a crystal ball. It was in fact a marble.
5. A regular feature of Stick’s show was “U Pick.”
Which definitely doesn’t look like the word f***.
6. With “U Pick,” viewers would “request” shows for Stick to play next.
Sort of like kiddie TRL. Stick had a talent for getting a selection okayed by the network’s execs and queued up in record time — usually, in a matter of seconds.
7. He sometimes hosted from his news bureau.
Which featured such high-tech innovations as wrist-watch clocks.
8. Stick often had on-screen support from this high-strung lady named Holly, whose beeper was always going off. Haha beepers.
9. Then there was the “Top 10,” a list of 10 definitely-not-random things kids were in to. Like that ILL “Toy Story” CD-ROM.
Or this sick band.
Friendship jewelry!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, breathe. Simmer down.
10. And of course, Stick’s famous song.
11. Guess what? Stick returned in 2011 to host Nick’s “The ’90s Are All That” block (but stopped in 2012).
Look at this fucking hipster with his Keep Calm poster, Red Bull, and MacBook. What do you bet after he wraps up work, he’s going to take some salvia and listen to Gotye.
12. Stick made another update: no more snail mail. YOU HAD TO TWEET HIM.
Feel old much?