12 Signs You Were A “Gwenabee”

For the Gwen Stefani-obsessed citizens of the Tragic Kingdom.

1. The message on your answering machine was the chorus from “Spiderwebs.”

Sorry I’m not home right now / I’m walking into spiderwebs / So leave a message and I’ll call you back.

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2. At one time or another, you wore a sari.

Albert Ortega / Getty Images
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3. And your bindis were always falling off.

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4. Your henna tattoo efforts were valiant but amateurish.

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5. You maybe didn’t dye your hair this blue color, but it inspired you to make everything sky blue: your nails, your eyes, your lips.

Brenda Chase / Getty Images
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6. Like fellow Gwenhead Laris Oleynik, this is how you dressed for the school dance. (With a cardigan over your midriff before leaving the house.)

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7. This was your away message in 2004.

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8. Mini buns. So many mini buns.

Brenda Chase / Getty Images
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9. You experimented with Manic Panic in “Hot Hot Pink.”

Scott Gries / Getty Images
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10. You posed for pictures like this: belly slightly exposed, hip forward, hand at the waist of your pants.

Kevin Winter / Getty Images
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11. You almost wanted braces.

Frank Micelotta / Getty Images
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12. And you would have ripped out this magazine page…even though you already knew everything it told you.

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