1. Robots Can Bring You Breakfast In Bed
Just don’t ask them to actually cook the darn thing. Have you ever seen an android try to gingerly crack open an egg with its stainless steel pincers? It’s…not exactly appetizing.
2. Robots Are Excellent Wingmen
Forget bringing your puppy to the park — palling around with your personal bro-‘bot is guaranteed to raise a few interested eyebrows from the opposite gender. Having a mechanical wingman says a lot about a person, like “they obviously enjoy the finer things in life,” and “they stay on the cutting edge of technology,” and “of course I’ll date you, please call off your giant killer robot.”
3. Robots Can Teach You How To Bust A Move
Humans have long sought to replicate their groovy moves on the dance floor, so who better to teach you a few toe-tapping tricks than a funky fresh dance-bot? On a side-note, we can’t wait for Step Up 5,000: I Robot, U Hella Whack.
4. Robots Will Never Run From A Fight
Who would you rather have backing you up in a brawl: a fleshy mass of meat and sloshy internal organs, or a titanium tyrant that runs “SCOFF.EXE” in the face of danger? When the going gets tough, the tough invest in a giant metal man to fight their battles for them.
5. Robots Will Go To Prom With You
It’s a timeless tale of adolescent love: nerdy, awkward boy wants to go to prom; nerdy, awkward boy has no one to go with; nerdy, awkward boy builds his own prom date from a box of bolts; nerdy, awkward boy eventually becomes evil scientist with dreams of world domination. Ah, robo-romance!
6. Robots Are Excellent Cuddlers
Sure, the airwaves are overloaded with stories of “killer robots” and “robot revolutions,” but what the media doesn’t take the time to tell you is that they’re all just really big sweethearts. A word of advice, though: you may want to invest in a tetanus shot before a session of robo-spooning.
7. Robots Are Always Willing To Fetch You A Cold One
Hey, your robot buds totally get it: you’ve had a long day at work and now you just want to kick back with a cold brew and zone out in front of the boob tube. These ‘bots would be even better if they had an onboard pretzel dispenser, but that may be straddling the line between “science fiction” and “science fact.”
8. Robots Help Out Around The House
Chores are so last century. As long as the robot’s been a twinkle in modern technology’s eye, lazy people everywhere have demanded their own steel servant to help out around the house. Robotic butlers and maids are ideal housekeepers for the apathetic and anti-social crowds, and the best part? They’re not programmed to judge you for how messy your house is, you pig.
9. Robots Are All About Fun
Whatever their make or model, robots are guaranteed fun machines. Here’s a question: have you ever gone partying with a robot bud and not had a good time? That’s what we thought.
10. Robots Are Life-Long Buds
Loyalty is too often taken for granted among friends, and what’s more loyal than a robotic bestie? To paraphrase an age-old adage, there’s nothing more pure than the bond between a ‘bot and his best bud…as long as you keep them away from magnets, dangling wires, lightning storms, and run routine virus scans. Hey, nobody said friendship was easy.
Want to take control of the raddest robots around? Head on over to Hero Factory and experience Breakout, an action-packed game that’s absolutely free to play, only on LEGO.com!
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