The 6 Stages Of Chronic FOMO Everyone Experiences

Fear Of Missing Out. It’s a sickness, be nice. posted on

1. 1. You’ve decided to spend an evening at home. Maybe you’re exhausted from your last night out

2. Maybe you’re out of money

3. Or you’ve just had enough of people

4. The point is, you’re staying in tonight. Just so long as you can pretend that no-one else is doing anything fun.

Sofa, stir-fry and an early night.

5. 2. Then, what you were dreading happens. Your phone rings.

It’d be rude not to pick it up, really.

6. Someone, somewhere is doing something, and you’re not a part of it

All your worst fears confirmed.

7. But you made a decision, and everyone else can do whatever the hell they want

And you can do whatever you want. At home. Alone.

8. 3. But you’re thinking about it now. Fun is being had.

Everyone is out there, experiencing things

9. You check Instagram, and everything is spectacular

Apparently, the entire city has decided to head out for the greatest night of all time. And you’re missing it.

10. Someone is eating at a restaurant with food made by magic

Don’t know what it is. Want it anyway.

11. In a place where the delicious drinks flow freely, yet no-one is drunk

12. Your friends will be hanging out with celebrities

That’s Jay Z, Rashida Jones, Kanye, Tyler The Creator, Aziz Ansari, Justin Bieber and Kid Cudi. They’re all there.

13. They’ll be at some crazy, impossibly awesome place

14. And everyone will be happy and beautiful

You are becoming less cool by the second, just by not being ‘there,’ wherever ‘there’ is.

15. Meanwhile, you’ll be at home

16. Whatever happens, it’ll be an unforgettable night

It’ll be an experience

17. With at least one crazy story you’ll never be a part of

It’ll end with “Oh, I guess you had to be there…”

18. 4. Suddenly, your plans are looking worse

A carefully crafted #stayingin Facebook update will do nothing to ease the pain

19. Even Netflix is making fun of you

20. 5. You know what you have to do

Despite being tired and broke and not at all ready for this.

21. Answer the phone…

22. Get psyched up…

24. Head out!

THIS IS HAPPENING

25. Everyone is so happy you’re there. Time to have that once-in-a-lifetime night!

26. 6. It’s not very good. Still, you’ve learned your lesson - you won’t be suckered in next time!

Except you will. Every time. Because you suffer from Chronic FOMO, and there is no known cure.

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