1. Run away
It’s likely they will watch you, judge you, and you will know that forever.
2. Act as though you were always way too good for them
True or not, it’s all about confidence.
3. Declare your undying love for them
Probably the most embarrassing, but on the upside it could work out? Right?
4. Make some notes for the song you’re about to write
Most effective if you are actually Taylor Swift. Or Adele!
5. Freeze up
Useful when you have the emotional intelligence of a brick.
6. Do something very childish
Not long-term. If you have mutual friends, prepare to not have them any more.
9. Act way, way too friendly to them
You might as well just shout out that you’re totally, absolutely not over them
10. Pretend to be going out with someone much hotter
“Have you met Ryan?” This plan will unravel - they have Facebook stalked you, so they know you’re lying.
12. Cry. Just cry everywhere
This is a really strong option if you’re not big on dignity. But are big on indiscriminate displays of emotion.
14. Dismiss them with a cutting eyeroll
Requires control. Of both emotions and eye muscles.
15. Attempt to sleep with them again
This is good because it results in emotional distress whether it works or not!
16. Pretend to have amnesia
Most likely to lead to sitcom style hi-jinks. Or a Jim Carey movie.
17. Have a brief catch-up, and go your separate ways like a mature adult
JK. Has never happened.
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