The Salsa Scene From "Center Stage" Ruins Lives- & Here's Why

It's been nearly 15 years since this movie came out and the salsa scene is still so devastating in so many ways. If you want a broken heart, keep reading.

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First of all- to impressionable youths, it is absolutely astounding that Jody Sawyer, our protagonist, is JUST out of high school (as we learn at the start of the film) and is in a BAR? Drinking ALCOHOL?! WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT JODY AND HOW HAVE YOU DONE IT?!?

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Secondly, this goon. Look at you, Charlie, you handsome devil, with the courage to straight-up ask a girl to dance and MEAN IT. Like, not just bounce around back-to-front, but actually "We finna do dance moves and light the floor on FIYAH."

Bravo, homie.

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Now, LOOK AT THIS PLACE (do it). The joint is FILLED with salsa-dancing men and women. All dancing it well.

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HONESTLY.

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Sergei. Oh, Sergei. If you came up to me at a salsa bar and told me you were a professional ballet dancer, I would probably faint- not laugh at you like these rotten girls. GO BACK TO JERSEY. (jk i'm sure jersey's gr9.)

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Then, the dancing. OH, THE DANCING. Just take a second to bask in the glow of Terpsichore's warm light.

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Sascha Radetsky, I give you permission to literally drop Jody and her pre-Ariana Grande high pony and do a shoulder sit with me instead.

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If you told me there was a sexier type of dancing than Latin, I would send you to the emergency room to have your skull examined.

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um hi yes you were saying?

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They even have fun washing mirrors hungover the next morning!

So. To sum up:

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"Center Stage," you have given the world unrealistic expectations and I fully blame you for my lack of KILLER salsa nights. I demand a full refund for psychological damage- I'll write to the governor, I'll write to your mom I don't even care.

Whatever. It was worth it, just to see Sergei getting it on with that old lady.

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