KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL WORLD HEALTH

Combinations of existing environmental “poisons” used as treatment for addictions, plus love, compassion, and community make for a very healthy world!

As own personal lab rat, have very much found simple and effective solutions to recovery from any addiction or illness, in concordance with study of cat behavior. Please enjoy.

HISTORY
Caucasian European American, female, 28 years, 5 months and 21 days young. 5’6”; 110-125 lbs. Privileged, educated, upper-middle class background. Access to health care.

Developmental issues, genetic predispositions, social and environmental factors that lead to serious disability; and incapacitating damage done by modern medicine (society, too). Convoluted array of conflicting diagnoses over time: general anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, clinical depression, borderline personality disorder, eating disorder- not otherwise specified; bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, drug addiction (specifically alcohol), and self-diagnosed AUTISM. Autism is only accurate diagnosis. All the former ailments are tragic result of destructive world environment. Must mention repeated attacks of serious physical illness. All symptoms were treated with caustic, dangerous, ineffective prescription drugs. Impossible for natural healing to occur.

SERIOUS ISSUES OF MODERN MEDICINE
Human-formulated prescription drugs are the very serious problem behind destruction of world health. Human-created mutations of natural medicine remove ALL benefit of what is good on Earth. God provides everything needed for healing in Nature, and in conjunction with human innovation, can achieve global health, peace, love.

INSTRUCTIONS ON ADMINISTERING EMERGENCY DETOXIFICATION
-Immediate and continuous administration of Medical Marijuana
-One liter Gatorade diluted with 1 liter tap water.
-Nutrition: What are you craving right now? A steak? Beets? Candy? Haggis? Consume immediately as needed. Will enjoy very much with one glass Diet Cola and one glass tap water! And will discover complimentary, balanced food combinations. Follow with tobacco, and then alcohol, and then REST.
-Begin best form of mild, simple exercise: Laughing! Enjoy favorite funny humans and animals, favorite hilarious film, music, art, humor and comedy, et cetera.

FOR INDIVIDUAL ADDICTIONS: EXAMPLES
Is your addiction alcohol? Enjoy red wine and rich beer.
Is your addiction nicotine? Enjoy natural tobacco.
Is your addiction cocaine? Enjoy ingestion of natural coca plant.
Is your addiction gambling? Enjoy exciting and fun communal exercise of playing board games and puzzles with loved ones.
Is your addiction food? Treat yourself to healthy, pure foods.
Is your addiction video games? Enjoy fascinating and unique interactions with humans and animals. Make some new friends!
Is your addiction the internet? Go outside for fresh air, sunshine, and experience God’s great earth.
Is your addiction sex? Enjoy dark chocolate.
Is your addiction shopping? Enjoy positive affirmations and practice I AM statements such as: I AM HEALTHY; I AM STRONG; I AM LOVE; I AM GOD.
Is your addiction work? Enjoy much rest and relaxation. Is extremely beneficial to do absolutely nothing!

NOTE: must be ONLY pure, organic, natural medicines

SYMPTOMS
Detoxification symptoms are relatively mild and manageable: skin eruptions, comfortable fatigue and insomnia (allows for practice of mind-body interaction, and control, + productive creativity), sinus drainage, coughing or sneezing, frequent need for elimination of waste, dizziness, heart palpitations, jittery feeling, sweating and odor, slight swelling of tissues (puffy, sensitive eyes) = all natural, relatively painless result of eliminating bodily and environmental poisons. All can be abated with natural medicines.*

FOR ADDED SUCCESS
-Faith, hope, prayer, and God
-Learning new skills such as ambidexterity (practice using opposite hand of dominance for better brain function)
-Aqua-therapy
-Aromatherapy
-Music and art
-Education of environmental poisons and risks
-Review of inspiring recovery texts, such as Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book

*Please explore: bentonite clay, charcoal, vinegars, plant oils, garlic, et cetera.

RECOMMENDED PRODUCTS (use liberally as needed)
Diet Coca-Cola or Pepsi Cola;
American Spirit cigarettes;
Guinness beer;
Red wines;
Original Gatorade;
Tap water;
Seasonal plant foods
UNLIMITED, FREE ACCESS TO MEDICAL MARIJUANA!

*NOTE TO CORPORATIONS AND GOVERNMENTS: PLEASE GIVE FREELY AND LIBERALLY TO ANY PERSON WHOMSOEVER REQUESTS HELP! NO MONETARY EXCHANGE!*

CAT BEHAVIOR DURING DETOX AND RECOVERY
Animal psychosis (or zoochosis) as result of unnatural human-dominated environment: confined in cage or indoors and deprived of interaction with other animals, earth and God; potential lack of effective communication with human: abuse and neglect occur. Raised cat by self since about 6 months of age. Healthy formative years of cat unbalanced by destructive, chaotic human lifestyle. Cat became paranoid, agitated, dependent, needy, destructive, and prone to physical illness. When experiencing stress, cat would whine, cry, overeat, self-mutilate, and eventually stoic and anti-social. Solutions: loving, gentle, respectful interaction and soothing vocal/physical communication. Cat responded quickly, and easily. Cat enjoys very much vocal and physical exchanges (responds to loving human language such as: “Hello? How are you doing today? You are very healthy and happy and beautiful!”); suddenly, yet calmly began to be more social, happy, curious, active, and playful. Most precious exchanges between cat were sharing of life-essences: cat would lovingly and curiously nuzzle, cuddle, and chat; would lick face, play with and chew on human hair. Animal saliva is healing; cat tongue exfoliates toxins on skin. Eating of hair suggests cat benefits from consuming human organic matter. Cat also exposed to alcohol, tobacco, diet cola, “human” foods, and marijuana. Natural gravitation to explore said elements. Slowly weaned cat off processed pet foods and began introducing new foods like canned salmon (cat is already sufficiently exposed to mercury and other metals in canned salmon, as result of tobacco smoke and car exhaust already prevalent in environment).

Further study: The Secret; www.earthclinic.com; Joe Cross’ Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead; The Radioactive Wolves of Chernobyl; Laughing Club of India; The Gospels of Christ; Animal Liberation Front; Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle; George Orwell’s 1984

HAVE FUN!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a user and has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

Facebook Conversations
          
    Hot Buzz

    “Opie And Anthony” Host Fired After Racist Twitter Rant, Deletes All Tweets

    ew

    Show Us Your Absolute Worst Double-Chin Face

    collection
    Now Buzzing