Man, I thought this was going to be a list of ‘things’…ya know, like a sweet-ass desk or some blackboard paint to write my grocery lists on, so that I can have wet dreams about some bullshit I’ll never buy. But no, you’re just telling me about an identity I have to possess in order to be a self-actualized person with a man and a plan. Well, I’m gonna get right back to spooning my dog, watching the X-Files, and nipping off my bottom shelf whiskey. Seems way better than perfecting my ‘make-up routine’. Pfft.