A Guide To The Off Chance You Unfortunately Find Yourself Vacationing In Phoenix
The original settlers of this valley were out of their friggin' minds when they set up shop, but you should be glad they did. Here's what this hotter-than-hell valley has to offer other than dehydration and sunburns.
Drinks.
While the vast space that Phoenix takes up doesn't bode well with late-night drinking, here are some spots in midtown and downtown that add a little more to the nightlife than neighboring bars.
FilmBar
What Makes It Special: Movies and drinks combine to make a drunken and happy experience. Plus, their mix of current showings and cult classics appeals to all audiences.
Highlights: A few months ago, FilmBar aired multiple showings of R. Kelly's "Trapped In the Closet" in it's entirety.
The Little Woody
What Makes It Special: Sure, there are tons of bars with a game room, and if you're bringing a big group with you, I'd suggest checking out Culinary Dropout at the Yard instead. But the best thing about The Little Woody is the environment. Entrance is from the back, signage is minimal (so look up the exact address ahead of time), and the red-lit bar takes you back decades. It's like no one is supposed to know that this jewel is here, and you'll feel like the ultimate badass for being inside.
Highlights: Tongue-n-Groove cocktail.
Hula's Modern Tiki
What Makes It Special: Located right off the Metro Lightrail, this is an easy bar to get to with an awesome menu all around. The entire restaurant is exposed to the outside to give you that beachy feeling (without, well, any water) and their happy hour is one of the best in the Valley.
Highlights: Scorpion or Volcano Bowl - a tub of light and dark rum, brandy, pineapple, lemon and cranberry juices with a (literally) flaming 151 rum shot in the middle. Meant to serve 2-6 guests. Be warned, you'll need a DD after this drink.
Eats.
Phoenix's culinary culture is ripe with variety and hotspots. There are dozens of places worth checking out. For the sake of time, however, these are the highlights.
Rice Paper Eatery
What Makes It Special: Located in the center of the 7th Street district (an area filled with excellent restaurants), Rice Paper Eatery is a fresh Vietnamese joint that blends traditional and modern cuisine to create a versatile menu. Plus, the renovated home that Rice Paper sits in is decked out in outlandish, cute decor.
Highlights: Rice paper rolls, duh.
Green
What Makes It Special: Even for the heavy meat eaters, Green is a hot spot. The all-vegan menu twists diner classics like po-boys and BBQ sandwiches to meet the animal-friendly dietary needs.
Highlights: PB&J tSoynami (soy, soft serve ice cream with organic peanut butter, strawberries and graham crackers).
Hillside Spot
What Makes It Special: Hillside offers delicious food and a hip atmosphere in the increasingly suburban Ahwatukee neighborhood in southern Phoenix.
Highlights: Chilaquiles Verdes... because Oaxaca cheese is the best around.
Dick's Hideaway:
What Makes It Special: Similar to The Little Woody, this tiny tavern is hard to find and a privilege to dine at. With hefty portions of New Mexican cuisine and bountiful servings of delicious breakfast cocktails, you'll leave uncomfortably full. Just be careful when you exit the restaurant as the dining room is extremely dark and Phoenix's sun makes for an unforgiving transition.
Highlights: Benedict Combo (3 oz beef tenderloin and Nueske's pork loin topped with two poached eggs and jalapeno hollandaise. Generous serving on beans and potatoes on the side).
Caffeine.
"We basically didn't know any better," says Cartel Coffee Lab founder Jason Silberschlag, "Selling 180 degree beverage in 120 degree weather." Amen, Jason, amen. No matter how silly the concept may sound, take a chance at these hot spots.
Giant Coffee
What Makes It Special: With large garage doors that open out into the quiet neighborhood, this tiny coffee shop is great for low-key mornings and long stays. Plus they have regular brew tastings at night for the coffee connoisseur.
Highlights: Giant's attached to the Bunky Boutique so you can energize and shop simultaneously!
Lux
What Makes It Special: It's a restaurant! A bar! A pastry shop! A cafe, a lounge, and the coziest place to get some work done. Plus, it's right off the lightrail and if you have any good taste in music, you'll be pleased. No headphones needed in this joint.
Highlights: Almost all their dishes are seasonal and there's always something new on the menu when you stop in.
Cartel Coffee Lab
What Makes It Special: With five locations in southern Arizona (including one in Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport) this small coffee company puts a lot of thought into their roast. Employees must go through a two-week internship to educate themselves on Cartel's mission and craft before getting hired. They have recently expanded their menu to include food and home-brewed beers - all of which are dangerously tasty. This place is guaranteed to make you a coffee snob in one visit.
Highlights: Santa Ana decaf brew (tangier than tang) and their recently released FYITM Imperial IPA.
Vintage.
Retro Ranch
What Makes It Special: First off, their tag line is "swagger on in". Enough said right there. In addition, RR has won approximately a million awards over the last four years for being the coolest place to find vintage anything. From furniture to clothing to dishes, Retro Ranch is exploding with kitschy household items to take home. All for an extremely decent price.
Meat Market Vintage
What Makes It Special: Originating as an eBay store, owners Cory Martinez and Ben Funke worked for years to build up an inventory that could fill an entire warehouse. Once that was accomplished, Meat Market became a real-life storefront. Jam-packed with outfits from decades back (even as far as the 20s), the clothing moves so fast in this store that the stock never looks the same. And with prices ranging from $15-50, you'll never break the bank for quality vintage.
Leave.
Okay, so don't actually leave for good. However, Phoenix in the summer can use a brief intermission for extended stays. Two hours up I-17 will take you to beautiful Sedona where hiking and luxurious weather awaits. For kitschy artsy types, Bisbee is about three hours south on I-10. Bisbee is also home to the infamous Copper Queen Hotel - suspected to be haunted with at least three ghosts.
Parties.
Karaoke Night at The Duce
What Makes It Special: Located in the warehouse district south of downtown, The Duce is never as populated as it should be. With vintage trailers, Twister, a vintage retail boutique, a boxing ring and a rad-as-hell soda fountain bar you'd think that this place would be packed with guests. The upside to this unfortunate fact is that big parties are welcome and easily accommodated. Karaoke night on Thursdays is perfect. With an infinite song selection and a short wait to actually sing the song you selected you'll get to share your awful singing voice with little time to rethink this decision.
Quincy Ross Twitter Parties
What Makes It Special: Voted "Best Secret After-Hours" by Phoenix New Times, local photographer Quincy Ross is the go-to guy for a good time. Check out his Twitter for the scoop. The catch? He only gives about a 48-hour notice, there's usually a password, and you gotta get to him fast before he stops inviting people. However, it's worth the effort. He once took over the top two floors of the Lexington Hotel and partied for 24 hours straight. Case, rested.
Crescent Ballroom Concerts
What Makes It Special: This venue popped up in Phoenix less than two years ago and immediately became the go-to site for any band worth listening to. If you can't afford a ticket, whatever. Their bar is in earshot of the stage and doesn't cost anything to get into. Aaaand they have excellent cocktails served in the venue and outside bar. Bam. Do it.
Culture.
Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Art (SMoCA)
What Makes It Special: No offense to the Phoenix Art Museum (also a great spot), but the quaint size of SMoCA and it's all-around essence of weird makes it a great stopping point for your day on the town. Exhibitions are ever-changing and sure to make you go "huh?" (ie. their current exhibition "Stocked: Contemporary Art From The Grocery Aisles").
First Friday's Art Walk
What Makes It Special: While many cities have an art walk, this is a tried and true way to get a feel of what Phoenix has to offer. Located in downtown, the art walk lines Roosevelt Row - the most creative district in Phoenix - and is walking distance from many of the aforementioned hotspots.
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