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    • lauren711

      1. The ferry boat is a trap. No it’s not. When there is a huge line for the monorail, the ferry boat can be shorter. The actual ferry boat trip is longer than the monorail trip, yes, but it saves you from standing in line forever waiting on the monorail, so the ferry boat is about the same amount of time. 2. Your fingerprints validate your existence. I don’t think anyone who does this doesn’t know that it’s a fingerprint scanner. They are not going to keep you from coming in just because you don’t use the same finger. They know what they’re doing.  3. It’s damn near impossible to walk down Main Street because everyone wants their photo op. Yes, everyone wants a photo. But so do you too. And I’ve never found it “impossible” to walk down the street. You just dodge people. It’s that easy. 4. Walt Disney believed in magic, not shade. There’s lots of shade. But it’s Florida. You don’t come there just to stand in the shade. Pick up a mister fan from Walmart before you go down. Wear a hat. And then find the shade. Not that hard. 5. He also did not believe in bench seating. Don’t know why you’re blaming Walt Disney himself for this stuff. But there are lots of benches.  6. Fastpasses turn everyone into douchebags, even you. No, it just turns idiots who don’t understand Fastpasses into even bigger idiots. 7. The Magic Kingdom calls the fireworks the “Kiss Goodnight” instead of the accurate “Kiss of Death.” It’s pretty obvious that everyone stays for the fireworks and that it’s busy getting out. This isn’t news to anyone. 8. The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse is a trap. It’s not a trap. True, it’s not a ride, it’s a walking attraction. But it’s not a trap. 9. Rides break down…a lot. Rides do break down, that happens, but it’s not a lot. I worked there and I rarely saw it happen. And if a ride breaks down, it’s up pretty quickly. 10. Cast members give zero fucks if you just take a photo of your ride photo. Ok… yeah, everyone does that. Not really a big shocking secret.  11. The animals are fearless hungering beasts. Everyone knows this. If you’ve ever been to the beach, the seagulls make this very obvious. Don’t feed the animals is pretty much common sense.  12. The “interactive line” for The Haunted Mansion is also a trap. Again, not a trap. The interactive things in line are fun. But yes, if you stop to look at them, it will take you longer to get through the line. If you don’t stop, you get through quicker. Obviously. 13. Speaking of, Disney is a queue troll master. Yes, the lines are long and the queues are winding. Have you ever been to a theme park?  14. Face characters no longer freely roam the park. There are many that are out in the open. None of the characters are just going to “freely roam” as you describe it. But this is another common sense thing. A popular character is going to attract a long line. But there’s still lots of characters who are out throughout the park.  15. It is damn near impossible to find an ICEE on a hot day. While they aren’t sold at every single snack stand, you can still find them easily. Plus popsicles and ice cream are sold a lots of places.  16. No one listens to the numerous “no flash photography” warnings. Yeah, this happens. It’s a very brief thing. It isn’t blinding you and it isn’t ruining anything. It happens and it’s done. Nothing you can do about that.  Boom, roasted.