1. Last night you breezed through a carafe of merlot and a couple of glasses of pinot noir like the sophisticated soul that you are.
2. But when you woke the next morning, you felt like the duvet had been wrapped tightly around your head.
3. Where the wine glow once was, a fetid, boozy fog descended upon you.
4. Your mouth is so dry that the thought of even the tiniest drop of water seems like it will be a magical elixir of life.
5. But you can barely peel yourself out of bed to go and get any.
6. You lie there for a while until the hangover demon that's telling you you're an idiot for getting into this state becomes too much and you get up.
7. The light when you finally open the curtains feels like an evil death-ray.
8. How will you ever survive the day without sunglasses?
9. It's as though your blood is now red wine and you can feel it swishing heavily around you with every move you make.
10. The hangover demon joins you for your journey to work to remind you that you're a prize fool and you are going to fail at your job today.
11. But maybe, just maybe, the coffee you sip when you arrive will save you.
12. Not so soon...before you know it, the second wave of the red wine hangover has arrived.
13. The brain-squeezing headache hits you suddenly, and it hits you hard.
14. While you wait for the painkillers to kick in, you just have to sit still and hope nobody notices while you ride it out.
15. But your entire body feels like it's being sucked deeper into the vortex of hangover.
16. By mid-afternoon, the headache may be gone, but you're left exhausted.
17. And now for the third, and cruelest wave: the existential crisis.
18. What are you doing, wasting your best years in this office?
19. What are you doing with your future?
20. What are any of us doing on this Earth?
21. Only one thing will save you now...
