2. I’ve literally been waiting my whole life for this.
3. Wow, that music is REALLY turned up in there.
4. If the guys in this line are a preview for what’s inside…
5. I’m dying.
6. Say whaaaa? A $5 cover?
7. I mean, it’s a special occasion, so JUST THIS ONE TIME.
8. OK, deep breath. Let’s do this.
9. Oh, hellllllo random man in underwear dancing on the bar.
10. I wonder if that’s his full-time job? Must be nice.
11. Should I talk to him first, or…?
12. Baby steps.
13. Crap, I probably should’ve worn cuter underwear.
14. But let’s be real, my outfit choice is pretty bangin’.
15. Are those two just friends, or are they together?
16. Oh no, he’s coming to talk to me, should I run away?
17. Wait… he’s going over to someone else. Phew.
18. But why didn’t he want to talk ME?!
19. AHHHHHHHH THIS IS MY JAM!
20. OK, let’s see if this dance floor is all it’s cracked up to be.
21. WHY is no one on the dance floor?!
22. I feel like Robyn.
23. I mean, it is 8:30. OK, abort. ABORT.
24. I already have a crush on everyone here.
25. This entire drink list is filled with puns. #obsessed.
26. AND THEY’RE ONLY $3?! Cover was totally worth it. #blessed
27. The bartender must be gay, because this delicious drink is, like, extra strong.
28. The bartender has to be gay, right?
29. If he were gay, he’d let me flirt with him.
30. The bartender isn’t gay, is he?
31. OK, should I go talk to that guy who’s been giving me the eye for the past 10 minutes?
32. Should I buy that guy a drink?
33. Wait, or should he buy me a drink?
34. Should we go halfsies on a drink?
35. Note to self: Google “buying drinks etiquette” when you get home.
36. Ummm… hold up. They have a VIP section over there?
37. Damn, those white leather couches look comfortable.
38. Is that a sparkler coming out of that bottle of vodka?
40. OK, let me just get my phone out and see who’s in the area.
41. Oh, wait, WHY IS EVERYONE FIVE FEET AWAY?!
42. This just got real.
43. Wait, why are there two men’s bathrooms?
44. Aight, everyone for themselves, I guess.
45. Wow, there are a LOT of mirrors in here.
46. And damn, I still look good.
47. OK, stop, THIS really is my song.
48. Ehhhhhhh the dance floor is so crowded!
49. It’s 12:30. That’s why. Noted for next time.
50. Why do those boys get to dance on that cube.
51. I want to dance on that cube.
52. If I push them off, do I get to dance on the cube?
53. Someday, I WILL GET ON THAT CUBE.
54. I am living for these lasers right now.
55. I feel like J.Lo.
56. Hold up, where did those glow sticks come from?
57. I never knew that much sweat could come out of my body.
58. Did this DJ steal my playlist from my computer? Because everything is… ON. POINT.
59. I feel like Britney.
60. I feel amazing.
61. Where do these people put their shirts?
62. Should I take my shirt off?
63. Baby steps.
64. What is this giant group of girls doing charging the dance floor, and WHY ARE THEY SCREAMING?
65. Is that a veil on her head?
66. Are those straws in the shape of what I think they are?
67. Why is there a big gap in the dance floor all of a sudden?
68. Aaaaaand that’s a drag queen.
69. Ohmahgawd I have no idea how to feel about this six-foot goddess that just came into my life.
70. OK, I guess I know EXACTLY how I feel.
71. I honestly feel like I’m at a Beyoncé concert, but, like, better.
72. Is that even possible?
73. No where on EARTH do you find heels that big? She better get it.
74. Wait, you’re supposed to tip them?! Crap, I don’t think I have any…
75. Cash. Yes. Thank you bartender for giving me all singles in change.
76. Double kiss on the cheek. I’m in love.
77. NO, TURN THE LIGHTS BACK OFF!
78. Can I just stay here for the rest of my life?
79. I know I say this a lot, but this really is the most magical night of my life.
80. I feel right at home.
81. Well, my weekend plans are set forever