1. Do the classic shot gun routine.
Meet the new boyfriend with a shotgun in your hands. Shake his hand firmly with the other. Slowly watch the terror in his eyes. via
2. Mark your territory.
Invite the boyfriend to sit in the living room. After he sits down, look him directly in the eye and say, “That’s my chair.” via
3. Invite him into the garage for a chat.
Clean your chainsaw and watch him fidget. via
4. Then take him to a shooting range.
Show him how good you are at aiming and firing.
5. Friend Him On Facebook.
After liking every status update of his, write “I’m watching you,” on his wall.
6. Send intimidating texts.
Get his phone number from your daughter and randomly send him picture messages of your knives collection.
7. Send him invitations to your weekly mixed martial arts club.
Then ask him if he’d like to volunteer for your body flip demonstration. via
8. As for your daughter…
Make sure you don’t give her advice about boys that are sports analogies. (But maybe then she can intimidate them before you!) Last Man Standing premieres Tuesday Oct 11, 8|7c on ABC.
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