1. Jack Swilling
This look says “sassy vampire-cowboy”. But that means he’s probably being hunted by….
2. Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter
Normal Abe had a cool beard, too. Legend says he grew it because a small child said it would look more presidential.
3. William Gamble
He took a gamble on this crooked facial hair style, and it paid off! (In our opinion, at least)
4. Roswell Sabine Ripley
What do Roswell Sabine Ripley and Roswell, New Mexico have in common? They were both visited by aliens. They told Ripley to grow that out-of-this-world beard.
5. Albert Pike
6. Lawrence Branch
For those who like a nice turtleneck!
7. John Franklin Farnsworth
If his beard is an upside-down Christmas tree, then his face is the present underneath. And that is the gift that keeps on giving.
8. William W. Goldsborough
We give this look 10 and a half gold stars!
9. Austin Blair
Austin Blair was ahead of his time in his support of women’s rights, abolishing slavery, and banning capital punishment. He also was a sideburns pioneer. He’s so far ahead of his time with those sideburns that we can’t even comprehend them.
10. George E. Waring, Jr.
Doing a mini Dali even before Dali!
11. John Warfield Johnston
Making your facial hair look like a cotton candy cloud will make you and everyone around you happier!
12. Samuel Ryan Curtis
Honestly, we have no idea how to describe what’s going on here. They’re sorta sideburns, but sorta not? Either way, we applaud it.