19 Things That Mean Something Completely Different On HGTV

    Granite.

    by
    Lara Parker
    by Lara Parker

    BuzzFeed Staff

    ,
    Adam Davis
    by Adam Davis

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. "Granite"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: Some sort of rock that is used for countertops.

    What it means on HGTV: A magical stone that may or may not heal all your wounds and magically transform your house into perfection.

    2. "Open Floor Plan"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: An architectural plan in which the various spaces of the home connect to one another rather than being separated by walls.

    What it means on HGTV: The only possible form of home design, and 100% necessary for entertaining guests and watching children.

    3. "Crown Molding"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A design feature used to separate walls from ceilings.

    What it means on HGTV: The crown that shows you are actually royalty among homeowners, even though no one else will ever notice.

    4. "Space to Entertain"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A sufficient area of space in which multiple guests can comfortably sit and talk.

    What it means on HGTV: A 1,000-square-foot area for when you invite your friends over once every three years.

    5. "Budget"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A monetary amount you are comfortable spending in order to maintain financial security.

    What it means on HGTV: A monetary amount that is essentially made up and doesn't affect the final decision process at all whatsoever.

    6. "Fixer-Upper"

    HGTV / Via hgtv.com

    What it usually means: A property that needs some renovations to get it to a livable condition.

    What it means on HGTV: A godforsaken hellhole filled with knob-and-tube wiring and mold everywhere. Alternatively, a perfect reasonable home that just doesn't have granite.

    7. "Wish List"

    HGTV

    What it usually means: A list of requirements for a house that would seemingly make you happy if checked off.

    What it means on HGTV: A list of requirements for a house that would never match up with your partner's and almost never gets checked off.

    8. "Paint Color"

    NBC

    What it usually means: A color, created by painting, on walls in homes.

    What it means on HGTV: THE END OF THE GODDAMN WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, because it cannot be changed, ever.

    9. "View"

    HGTV / Via hgtv.com

    What it usually means: The scenery surrounding a home.

    What it means on HGTV: An open expanse of at least five miles in each direction, with absolutely no neighbors in sight.

    10. "Neighborhood"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: The small area that comprises the street you live on and some of the surrounding streets.

    What it means on HGTV: A place that you can't leave without the prospect of your soul withering up and dying.

    11. "Commute"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: The trip to work.

    What it means on HGTV: A disastrous journey spent traveling to work that must be minimized at all costs.

    12. "Carpet"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A covering for floors made from a soft, wooly substance.

    What it means on HGTV: Garbage. Literally, it's as if the floor is covered in garbage.

    13. "Move-In Ready"

    HGTV

    What it usually means: A home or apartment that is ready for you to move your things right in with no renovation necessary in order to make it livable.

    What it means on HGTV: A home or apartment with granite countertops, hardwood floors, and perfect paint colors, despite the fact that you can easily live there without those things.

    14. "Charm"

    HGTV

    What it usually means: Something that arouses the feeling of admiration.

    What it means on HGTV: Something indicating the age of the home, but, like, only a small thing like a tile or something because obviously you can't live without stainless steel appliances and stuff.

    15. "Style"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: The specific type of architecture or decor found in a home.

    What it means on HGTV: A certain type of architecture and decor that is typical to a location nowhere near where you are looking, but you still want it anyway.

    16. "Walk-In-Closet"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A closet that is big enough that you or someone you know can walk into it.

    What it means on HGTV: A closet that is big enough that you can literally use it as a complete bedroom — because otherwise, where will all your shoes go??

    17. "Outdoor Space"

    HGTV / Via Netflix

    What it usually means: A separate space located outdoors.

    What it means on HGTV: The space where you will apparently be doing almost all of your living, based on how much people complain about it.

    18. "Man Cave"

    HGTV / Via hgtv.com

    What it usually means: Nothing. This isn't a real thing.

    What it means on HGTV: A special room dedicated to a man and his interests where he can sit and joke about how women use so much darn closet space.

    19. "Decision Time"

    HGTV / Via videos.hgtv.com

    What it usually means: A time dedicated to making a decision.

    What it means on HGTV: The one-minute period in which you make a life-changing choice while seated in a restaurant or awkwardly walking along a grassy path.