1. This place is huge.
2. MMMM, that IKEA smell. I have arrived.
3. I wanna be in and out in 30 minutes.
4. OK gotta get a game plan, I’m ONLY here for a coffee table.
5. Jesus, why are there so many children here? THIS ISN’T A PLAYGROUND.
6. I wish every Ikea had a monkey with a fur coat.
7. Why is it so impossible to just pick up one thing at IKEA? Why must I go through the maze?
8. Where even are the coffee tables?
9. I could just go straight to the marketplace.
10. * looks towards showroom * But that room setup is siiiiick.
11. OK, I’ll walk around.
12. I should probably grab one of those big ass bags, just in case.
13. Ewwwww, not the bag on top. Looks a little past its prime.
14. REMINDER: I am only here for a coffee table.
15. Shit. This living room layout is AMAZE.
16. I feel like I could do that with my place.
17. * looks at price tag * LOL JK
18. OMG those pillows and they’re only $4.99! Score, buying.
19. Maybe I should get a rug, too.
20. I wonder how much that rug is.
21. There’s a dude wearing a yellow shirt, does he work here?
22. Of course he doesn’t. I feel stupid.
23. WHY WAS HE WEARING A YELLOW SHIRT THOUGH? Basically only 25% my fault.
24. There’s the coffee table!! OK, gotta write this name down.
25. WTF is this name anyway?
26. How do you even pronounce this letter ‘å’?!
27. How is this only $25?
28. Why can’t they just provide pens? What even is this tiny ass pencil?
29. I wrote that wrong. Damnit.
30. TOO BAD THIS PENCIL DOESN’T HAVE AN ERASER.
31. OK, seriously over this. Moving on.
32. I wonder if anyone has ever tried to use the toilets in these showrooms. *cringes*
33. I’m literally just going to move in here.
34. I mean, YEAH, my closet would be clean and organized too if I only owned three black shirts. WHATEVER.
35. That BED THOUGH.
36. I could buy a bed from IKEA or I could just sleep on a mattress. Basically the same distance from the ground.
37. The cafeteria. Wow. I’m not even hungry but I’m always hungry for Swedish meatballs.
38. Swedish meatballs, the one true love of my life.
39. I have food at home. I should just go.
40. But I don’t have Swedish meatballs at home.
41. GET IN MY BELLY.
42. FINALLY, marketplace just ahead. Although, it is literal Hell.
43. * Grabs 7 candles *
44. * Grabs 4 hand towels *
45. I don’t need a cart. I can probably just carry the table, it can’t be that heavy.
46. JK. * runs to get cart *
47. This line is 17 miles long.
48. CHOCOLATE, YES. Now to just get this stuff to my car.
49. This will probably be easy to set up.
50. And by easy to set up, I mean not easy at all.
- Police in Athens used pepper spray on protesters two days ahead of Greece's major bailout vote.
- A medical helicopter crashed in Colorado. The crash killed the pilot and injured two crew members.