21 Things That Would Definitely Offend ’90s Girls

Talk to the hand.

1. “Oh really, you saw yourself as a Sporty Spice? I would’ve pegged you as more of a Scary …”

Columbia Pictures

It is NOT cool to question a ’90s girl’s former choice of Spice Girl identification. If she says she is Baby Spice, Posh Spice, or what have you: SHE IS THAT SPICE.

ID: 3596643

2. “Mall Madness was totally superficial.”

No it wasn’t. It taught you valuable things like money management. And how to power-shop a sale.

ID: 3596684

3. “Cher was like, so, annoying.”

Paramount Pictures


ID: 3596710

4. “I can’t believe anyone actually wore anything from the Delia’s catalog.”

Flickr: missjille / Via Creative Commons

It’s all I wore and it’s all coming back. Brace yourself.

ID: 3596655

5. “Your Tamagotchi probably went to Hell. And it is still there. Hating you every day for murdering it.”

What, and yours is smiling at you from Tamagotchi Heaven?

ID: 3596762

6. “Gwen Stefani looked horrible with braces. I can’t believe she went out in public like that.”

Frank Micelotta/ImageDirect

OR: She was awesome for not giving a shit.

ID: 3596777

7. “Jack Dawson isn’t even hot.”

20th Century Fox

I can’t even.

ID: 3596675

8. “Dream Phone was a dumb game.”

Flickr: unloveable / Via Creative Commons

It was literally the funnest game ever and I am still planning my wedding to Dan. You are no longer invited.

ID: 3596680

9. “You were totally Annie.”

Buena Vista Pictures


ID: 3596693

10. “No, Sassy was not the best teen magazine ever.”

Nice try.

ID: 3596699

11. “I think this Hard Candy nail polish is just as cool as the ’90s version.”

You clearly have no idea what Hard Candy even is.

ID: 3596704

12. “Lisa Frank products were SO UGLY.”

Flickr: janet / Via Creative Commons

You clearly have no taste.

ID: 3596744

13. “Girl Power is an anti-feminist idea that capitalized on naive girls and their allowances.”

It’s a valid form of feminism. Sort of. But you wouldn’t understand.

ID: 3596752

14. “I see you as more of a Dawson girl. Definitely not Pacey.”

The WB


ID: 3596652

15. “Mary-Kate and Ashley were like not even that entertaining.”

I beg to differ. But also consider that they were like the richest 11-year-olds ever and are now awesome businesswomen. Dualstar forever!

ID: 3596760

16. “Leo’s performance in Romeo + Juliet was horrible.”

20th Century Fox

What is wrong with you.

ID: 3596770

17. “TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’ song makes my ears bleed.”

Then I guess you’re a guy who definitely can’t get no love from me. BYE.

ID: 3596784

18. “You had an American Girl doll? Your parents probably spent half your college fund on it.”


ID: 3596804

19. “I mean, was the tree house from Now and Then really all that great?”

It was amazing and no I have not personally been inside it but shut up please I do not like you.

ID: 3596817

20. “Cory and Topanga’s relationship was totally unrealistic.”

ABC / Via tumblr.com

You’re unrealistic.

ID: 3596839

21. “Body glitter never looked good on anyone.”

Brenda Chase/Online USA, Inc.

UM, you obviously didn’t see me in the ’90s. Rocked that shit.

ID: 3596849

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