1. Getting an A-.
What the fuck is the minus for?
2. People who are late.
What exactly is your problem?
3. Seeing a Facebook status with a grammatical error.
Please make it go away.
4. People who cannot get their shit together to make plans.
“We’ll just play it by ear.” UM, NO WE WON’T.
5. Someone wearing a belt that missed a belt loop.
EXCUSE ME PERSON, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FIX YOUR BELT.
6. The quote: “I did the best I could.”
THAT’S LITERALLY NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
7. Seeing chipped nail polish.
FIX. THAT. Please.
8. Having to do group work with people who aren’t perfectionists.
Things I would rather do than work in a group:
1. Bleach my asshole.
9. Witnessing a bad cleaning job.
YOU MISSED A SPOT. And by a spot, I mean a million of them.
10. Noticing a typo in your own tweet.
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
11. Trying to bake and forgetting an ingredient.
Welp, looks like I have to start over. See you in five hours.
12. People who take the middle piece of the pizza and leave the outside pieces so now it looks all uneven.
Please seek a higher power.
13. Or seeing a sandwich with uneven slices of bread.
You are the actual devil.
14. Looking at someone’s handwriting and not being able to read it.
Please type this and then return it to me, thanks.
15. Participating in anything that you aren’t good at.
…What’s the point?
16. Being described as “average.”
I. GIVE. UP.
17. Trying not to think about your mistakes.
:: tries for six hours, thinks about them the entire time ::
18. People telling you that you tried your best if you do something wrong.
If I had TRIED MY BEST, I would BE THE BEST.
19. Receiving constructive criticism.
:: curls up into a ball ::
20. Not being able to please someone.
“Your paper was just OK.”
21. Sending an email and realizing you didn’t capitalize something.
Well, this is the end. My life is over.
22. Trying to be happy for your friends when they do better than you at something.
:: awkwardly smiles through the rage ::
23. Going out for the evening and not having your phone fully charged.
Is this hell? Am I in hell?
24. And trying not to be a perfectionist.
LOL, good joke.