15 Levels Of Being Single We’ve All Experienced

Party of one.

1. Single By Choice

F*CK BITCHES GET MONEY, AM I RIGHT? You only live once and that means this person is planning on LIVIN’ IT UP.

2. Commitment Phobe

Can’t be tied down. This person commits to pizza and pizza only. Although sometimes they wish they could cuddle with pizza.

3. Ready To Mingle

20th Century Fox

This person sees every party, get-together, and networking event as an opportunity to meet people.

COME AND GET IT, BABES.

4. Addicted To Swiping Right

Walt Disney Pictures

This person is single and kind of wants to meet someone. So they downloaded Tinder, obviously. They are convinced Tinder can save them…if they ever actually go on a date.

5. Boning Everyone In Sight

UPN

This person has needs. And those needs aren’t necessarily met from being in a relationship.

6. Just Got Out Of A Relationship

This person is newly single and loving it. … except when they drunk dial their ex at 3 a.m. to say “I miss you baby.”

7. Begging Friends For A Setup

ABC

This person is single and 100% aware of their singleness. They’re ready to ask for help. So be it if that means calling friends they haven’t talked to in YEARS. That person might know their soulmate.

8. Imagining Every Person As A Potential Husband Or Wife

This person is single but still hopeful. They always shower before running errands because they never know who might be at the store…like their soulmate.

9. Planning A Wedding Without A S.O.

CW

This person is single and actively planning a wedding while looking for a life mate. They are keeping the dream alive one Pinterest board at a time.

Dress? Check.
Flowers? Check.
Bridesmaids? Check.
Groom/Bride? TBD

10. Constant Third Wheel

This person’s friends and family are getting concerned about their extreme singleness. Their friends are afraid that they’re going to die alone — so they invite them places to make them feel better. It doesn’t work.

11. Angrily Listening To Taylor Swift

FOX

This person’s awareness of their single status has reached a new high.

SHE WEARS SHORT SKIRTS, I WEAR T-SHIRTS.
God, Taylor just gets me.

12. Crying While Watching Rom-Coms

FOX

This person is so single that they are convinced they will never meet their Ben Barry.

“NO I DIDN’T BEN, CAUSE YOU CAN’T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER HAD.”
* sobs *

13. Paranoid Homebody

This person is single and incredibly paranoid. This person is praying that they don’t choke while they are home alone, because they are convinced that no one will find their body for days.

They ask themselves, “WOULD ANYONE EVEN CARE IF I DIED? WOULD ANYONE NOTICE?”

14. Cat Man Or Cat Lady

This person is single and going on dates with their cat on Friday nights.

70% of their Instagram is their cat.

15. Only Talking About How Single You Are

Miramax Films

Every single thing in life is a reminder of their single status. They cannot escape it.

Their battle cry is “God I’m single as f*ck.”

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