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For Everyone Whose Sexual Awakening Was Caused By Pumpkin Spice Lattes

:: mouth begins to water ::

1. It’s almost that time of year again. Yes. It’s almost time for Pumpkin Spice Lattes to make their way back into your life.

2. Is your body ready?

Probably not.

3. I remember the first time I ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

They called my name and I picked up the warm cup. It’s aroma slowly wafted to my nostrils and I began to drool.

4. I couldn’t wait to take the first sip. I didn’t know what to expect.

I thought I was ready.

I was wrong.

5. I sat down and braced myself.

I took the first sip. My lips touched the warm cup, and before I knew it, the soft, sweet, liquid was caressing my taste buds, making its way down my throat.

6. I had ordered drinks from Starbucks before, sure. But as my body began to tremble, I realized that this was different.

7. My whole body began to tingle. I felt warm. I felt as if I could fly.

Scratch that, I WAS flying. I was flying high off the pumpkin nectar and spice combination. I was invincible. I was free. I began to sweat.

8. I continued to fill my body with the syrupy liquid, and my breathing became faster.

Was I dead? Was this heaven? Had I really been missing out on this for so long??!?

9. This was me:

Columbia Pictures

10. Everything was beautiful. With my body full of the sweet pumpkin spice, I knew that the last sip was drawing near.

I braced myself.

11. As the last sip caressed my taste buds, I lost myself in the flavors.

OH MY GOD, THIS IS AMAZING, DON’T STOP, GIVE ME MORE, ALWAYS, FOREVER, I WILL DO ANYTHING.

12. It had ended, but I knew it wouldn’t be my last PSL experience.

13. I was awakened to the beauty of Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and I would never recover.

14. I want all of you, PSL, all of you, every day of fall.

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