1. The dorm bed mattress.
JUST PUT YOUR BRAND NEW COMFORTER OVER IT AND NEVER THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN. Except you still do. What were you even sleeping on?
2. The library during finals week.
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO SIT? THE FLOOR?
3. The lanyard you wore around your neck for most of freshman year.
:: shudders ::
4. The first paper you wrote.
:: enlarges every period ::
5. Your first all-nighter.
Your eyes sometimes burn and remind you of the hell that is staying up all night to finish the project you knew about for three months.
6. The one time you *tried* to do the assigned reading.
WHAT IS THIS, A DICTIONARY?
7. The first time you drank the cheap alcohol from the local liquor store.
BRB, PUKING FROM THE MEMORY.
8. And all the times that someone took your laundry out of the dryer WITHOUT ASKING.
Cardinal rule, bitches.
9. Trying to choose a major.
Oh, just deciding what I’m going to do for the rest of my life? LOL K, no pressure.
10. When you tried sneaking someone or something into your dorm and the R.A. walked by.
ACT COOL, ACT COOL.
11. Trying to complete your thesis.
Just the word thesis sends shivers down your spine.
12. Eating half a pizza before realizing it was a week old.
~ YOLO ~
13. Taking your trash out.
AND trying to fit those inconvenient pizza boxes in the damn trash can.
14. The one professor who always called on you when you CLEARLY had no idea what was going on.
15. Getting stuck with 8 a.m. classes.
IS THERE EVEN A GOD?
16. Participating in icebreakers.
Hi, my name is Lara, and none of you are listening, and I’m starting to blush, bye forever!
17. Having to buy textbooks.
It’s OK, I didn’t want to eat, anyway.
18. When someone that lived in your dorm decided it would be cool to cook some SMELLY ASS FISH.
I will hunt you down and I will punish you.
20. And, of course, POOPING IN THE COMMUNAL BATHROOM.
Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.
22. And then, of course, trying to figure out how you’re going to pay off your loans while your school asks you for money at the same time.
23. When you got to class late and therefore had to sit IN THE FRONT.
24. And when you walked out of class because your professor was 10 minutes late and you ran into him in the hall.
Just getting some water! LOL
25. When you took a shower, forgot your key, and found yourself locked out in your towel.
26. When you decided to splurge on a nice meal.
LOL LOANS. BROKE.
27. And the time you thought, “I think I’m ready for college to end.”
NOPE, NOT READY, I TAKE IT BACK. I TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!