The 16 Stages Of The Stomach Flu

Everything hurts and I’m dying.

1. Holy crap, did I drink too much last night? Is that my stomach making that noise? I think I’ll just lie down.

2. Oh my god I’m going to be sick.

3. Wow, that was weird. At least I feel better now.

4. Oh god………it’s back.

5. HOW CAN THIS STILL BE HAPPENING?

6. So. Thirsty. I’ll drink something. It should be fine.

7. WHY DID I DRINK THAT?

8. I’m going to die at any second.

9. Fell asleep hugging the toilet.

10. Wake up and drink a sip of water. Stomach makes some sort of tribal mating call.

11. Stumble out of bathroom onto couch. Turn TV on and see food commercial. OH GOD.

12. Vow to never, ever eat the food you threw up again.

13. Have people tell you you’re looking extra skinny. “Yeah it’s this new diet where I puke up every single thing that enters my stomach. It’s super fun.”

14. Live off diet of saltines and water for a solid week while slowly becoming addicted to a new Netflix show.

15. Think to yourself, “Hey that wasn’t so bad!”

16. See food that made you sick. Cry yourself to sleep.

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