What It’s Like To Be A Closeted Gay Athlete

Stephen Bickford was a star soccer player in high school, and played at the University of North Carolina and for the U.S. U-18 Men’s Soccer team. Today he published a long testimonial about hiding his sexual orientation for years.

I know, right? Now tell your friends!
What It's Like To Be A Closeted Gay At...
Kevin Lincoln

If you’re a young gay athlete in 2012, you have very few role models to look up to. There isn’t a single openly gay player in any of the five major American sports — football, basketball, baseball, hockey, and soccer — and, though the leagues have begun to express opposition to discrimination based on sexual orientation, huge amounts of work remain to be done.

However, a few ex-professionals and college players have come out after they finished playing, and another has joined their ranks: Stephen Bickford, a former U.S. U-18 National Team member, Adidas High School Player of the Year, and University of North Carolina starter.

Bickford wrote a long piece for the blog Gay4Soccer about his experiences as a top-level athlete in the closet. The whole thing is worth reading, but here’s a highlight:

For anyone who can’t understand how or why an athlete would hide his sexual orientation for his entire career, here it is. When sport is the thing you care about most in the world, and the thing you devote all of your time and energy toward, anything that could compromise your success is viewed as a crutch, even if it’s something as essential to your identity as your sexual orientation.

In Bickford’s case, the deception caught up with him, and a spate of depression and injuries eventually drove him out of soccer. His story is disturbing and inspiring, and as good of evidence as any that homophobia needs to be rooted out of sports as soon and as aggressively as possible.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations

          

    3 Responses So Far

    • carriep5   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 8 months ago
    • itsthecolleenlife thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 8 months ago
    • bxlew0207   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 8 months ago
    • malik   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 8 months ago
    • KevO80 thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is OMG  about 9 months ago
    • Vanma0640 thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • jorgeandrsalvaradop thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Trashy  about 9 months ago
    • AnnaMadrigal   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 9 months ago
    • Arica H. thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • nicolefloresl thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • Alester Pryor thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • saprvade   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G...  about 9 months ago
    • ohyeahbrid thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • davidjamesm   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G...  about 9 months ago
    • Ezekiel G. thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is OMG  about 9 months ago
    • cosetteo   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 9 months ago
    • J.E.W. thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is Win  about 9 months ago
    • oddee.com readers just made What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... hotter  about 9 months ago
    • What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is starting to get hot on Twitter Tweet It  about 9 months ago
    • stefani   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G...  about 9 months ago
    • jerryp4 9 months ago


      http://www.jerrypritikin.blogspot.com [link]

      This is the proclamation given to the Oil Can Harry’s Softball team that won the right to represent S.F. in the 1978 Gay World Series in New York.

    • jerryp4 9 months ago

      I played and pitched for the 1978 Oil Can Harry Oilers who won the Championship of the San Francisco Community Softball League and the right to represent the city in the Gay World Series in New York. However our tem was kicked out for having too many straights on our roster. Mayor Moscone gave our team the attached Proclamation honoring our team for the diversity. We had Vietnam Vets,city fireman, a teacher and a doctor among our players. It was the time of Anita Bryant and Calif. State Senator Johb Briggs who had an initaitive that would of banned all teachers who were gay. My teammates brought their parents,wives,girlfriends and children to our games… it was truly years ahead in the battle for good sportsmanship.

    • klx thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is OMG  about 9 months ago
    • thedailybeast.com readers just made What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... hotter  about 9 months ago
    • What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is starting to get hot on Facebook Share It  about 9 months ago
    • oprahsweave   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s Win  about 9 months ago
    • hwh97   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G...  about 9 months ago
    • josiel3   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G...  about 9 months ago
    • 2themaxe 9 months ago

      As a Gay man i completely understand where this gentleman had prouldy yet sadly said about his choice of being himself. I believe gay and lesbian people have the biggest heart because of this fact, the fact that every gay person is fighting almost on a daily basis of the choice on being themselve. And it is dlsas if you reallly think about it, why would someone do such a horrifying thing as to not be yourself. A person once told me as i was asking him questions if therapy works and hoe w deppressed as a peron i was he stop second guessing your existence. What he said stuck with me for the rest of my life and will continue to stick with me till the day i die. Im a gay man and very proud of it.

    • 2themaxe   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s OMG  about 9 months ago
    • calli441 thinks What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... is OMG  about 9 months ago
    • lilroseg   What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... and thinks it’s OMG  about 9 months ago
    • What It's Like To Be A Closeted G... was rebuzzed by BuzzForPartners  about 9 months ago
     
    Now Buzzing