Athletes tend to do weird things on social media, driven by the fact that they’re just regular dudes and women who all of a sudden have hundreds of thousands of people hanging on their every word. Like, for example, Instagramming words that they wrote down. This is not what Instagramming is for. It’s not like photography exists to just photograph pieces of paper. Yet, here we are, in a world full of screenshots of the Notepad app.
1. J.R. Smith (teamswish)
Nothing like hashtagging something like this with “trushit” to make sure you’ve thoroughly announced yourself as a goober.
2. Kevin Durant (sniperjones35)
It’s OK, Kevin! We still love you.
3. DeSean Jackson (jaccpot10)
DeSean Jackson is an example of the guys who have SPECIAL apps for Instagramming pieces of writing. And his is scary and bloody. Why do you want us to think you have blood on your notepad?
4. Tyreke Evans (tyrekeevans)
Here’s another one, called, I believe, “Tweegram,” the word “twee” OF COURSE being one you associate with professional basketball players. Tyreke Evans had this nice little message to share with his followers. And by “nice little message,” I mean “tweet.” THIS IS A TWEET, TYREKE.
5. Neymar (njunior11)
Even South American soccer players do this! Except they do it sideways, and they write in Portuguese.
6. Adrian Clayborn (ajaclay94)
Yeah pay for me I’m a rich athlete (plz) (I mean possibly he is just making a statement about the gendered politics of buying dinners.) (Or maybe his teammates never pay.) (I don’t know.)
7. Russell Westbrook (russwest44)
Russell Westbrook is literally the best human being in the world.
8. Chris Paul (cp3)
It involves luring LeBron James to the Clippers.
9. Dwyane Wade (dwyanewade)
Dwyane Wade uses something called “MyJour” to communicate with his followers. “MyJour” is short for My Journal. Dwyane Wade is a grown man. That is incredible. Also: THIS IS A TWEET. THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE TWITTER.
10. Kyrie Irving (k1irving)
“Kool_kevy_ysl” is too real for this world. And I mean that literally: I can’t find any “Kool_kevy_ysl” Instagram.
11. DeMarcus Cousins (boogiecousins)
Starting his third NBA season, despite the best efforts of him and the coaches he’s driven insane.
12. Cesc Fabregas (cescf4bregas)
Spanish soccer players are very romantic Instagrammers, it appears.
13. Antrel Rolle (antrelrolle)
OK, this is long, I kind of understand this.
14. Vernon Davis (vernondavis85)
Vernon! Your note to your granma is cut off! Also, does your granma use Instagram? Because that’s cool.
15. Evan Turner (evanalmighty12)
EVAN. I guess this does help illustrate why Mark Titus always called him “the Villain.”
16. Alex Morgan (alex_morgan13)
Aww, Alex Morgan put a little fade filter on her note. Now THAT’S why we use Instagram: to put visual effects on words.
17. JaVale McGee (bigdaddywookie)
You better not think a list like this is ending without a JaVale McGee appearance. Plus, he’s got the greatest handle in the history of Instagram.