Steve Francis’ Rap Video Just Set Music Back A Hundred Years

Sorry, Nas and Hova: you guys never happened.

1. Steve Francis made this rap video. It is terrible, but in a funny way.

Allen Iverson’s phone: RING RING RING RING
Allen Iverson: Hello?
Steve Francis: Yo JEWELS.

AI: Yeah.
SF: Yo Jewels man, it’s Steve. Steve Francis.
AI: …
SF: I’m rapping now!
AI: …
SF: Like, making rap music.
AI: …
SF: Like you.
AI: Who is this?
SF: Steve Francis. We played in like, three All-Star games together.
AI: …
SF: Man, we should start a rap supergroup. Like, the Wu-Tang of basketball. I’m probably Method Man, or maybe Raekwon, you know? You’re Ghostface, of course. Shaq’s Ol’ Dirty Bastard, ha ha ha ha ha HA.
AI: …
SF: There aren’t many other good options. Like, fuck Kobe, you know? He only made one track, he isn’t a real rapper like us two. And like, same with Tony Parker.
Carlos Boozer got on a track with Twista, so let’s throw him a bit part, like Inspectah Deck or something — I mean, I love Deck, but he’s not exactly Tier 1 Wu-Tang in terms of fan respect, you know?
AI: …
SF: Oh, we’ve got to get C-Webb in there. He can be the GZA.

AI: [hangs up]
SF: Who we missing… we’ve got Raekwon, Ghost, ODB, Deck, GZA. RZA’s like, Artest, because they both just shout like crazy people.
SF: I don’t know about U-God and Masta Killa, man.
SF: Maybe Jason Kidd? No, that’s stupid.
SF: Man, this is gonna rule.
SF: Hey, Jewels?

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