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Millionaire ESPN Columnist Writes Laziest Article In Sports History

It must’ve taken him at LEAST ten minutes to finish this “poem.”

Michael Buckner / Getty Images

Rick Reilly is a very well-compensated sportswriter for ESPN. He used to be great at his job. Now, he is less so. And today’s column — a poem about the Jets — might be his nadir. I’ve matched some choice “stanzas” with images that convey the reaction you will feel when you’re reading. You will feel progressively worse about Rick Reilly, your own life, and the state of mankind. Eventually, you will feel so angry that you turn into Nicolas Cage. Enjoy.

QB or not QB
That is the question.
Who should the Jets start?
Who should the Jets shun?

They cut Tim Tebow
A big deletion
20 mag covers
6 completions

They could start Sanchez
But fans would grumble
His most famous play
Is the butt fumble

They picked brash Geno
Who’s a bit of a diva
He says he’ll behave
But who’s a believa?

Garrard was a Jag
Who never flew high
Guess J.A.G. means
“Just Another Guy”

Matt Simms has good genes
But his hope is slim
Coaches over 40
Rarely play The Sims

Not much of a group
But Rex says: “Compete!”
(This will be less fun
than looking at feet)

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