Jose Canseco Has 8 Things To Say About Global Warming (And He Thinks Al Gore Is Dead)

Forget baseball: Canseco needs to be leading the EPA.

Legendary baseball player and philosopher Jose Canseco’s lecture on global warming unfolded as any great speech does. First, he warmed up his audience:

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POP QUIZ, HOT SHOTS. By the way, you’re a clown, you’re a clown, and you’re a clown. Not you, though.

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You really want to be the guy who gets rid of all the bears? You think you can live in a world without bears? You make Jose Canseco sick.

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Wait, Jose, I thought that’s what you were telling us? Didn’t you just say we have to recycle? Or there’ll be no more bears?

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Right, recycling! And reducing and reusing. Not sure exactly how the golf tournament fits in, but Jose just did us all a valuable service, so I think he’s allowed to primp for a bit.

Though, wait. “I complete you of to practice.” I… complete… you… of… to… practice. I’m lost.

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UPDATE: He kept going. And he thinks Al Gore is dead.

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10. The piece de resistance:

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