Legendary baseball player and philosopher Jose Canseco’s lecture on global warming unfolded as any great speech does. First, he warmed up his audience:
POP QUIZ, HOT SHOTS. By the way, you’re a clown, you’re a clown, and you’re a clown. Not you, though.
You really want to be the guy who gets rid of all the bears? You think you can live in a world without bears? You make Jose Canseco sick.
Wait, Jose, I thought that’s what you were telling us? Didn’t you just say we have to recycle? Or there’ll be no more bears?
Right, recycling! And reducing and reusing. Not sure exactly how the golf tournament fits in, but Jose just did us all a valuable service, so I think he’s allowed to primp for a bit.
Though, wait. “I complete you of to practice.” I… complete… you… of… to… practice. I’m lost.
UPDATE: He kept going. And he thinks Al Gore is dead.