How To Blatantly Cheat In The NBA

Amir Johnson got away with something that junior high refs would catch. posted on

1. Step 1: Be an NBA player. In this case, be power forward Amir Johnson, whose Toronto Raptors hosted the Portland Trail Blazers Wednesday night.

He’s smiling because… well, you’ll see.

2. Step 2: Get the ball. Dribble. Stop dribbling.

3. Step 3: Stand there for a bit. PIVOT. (Good pivot.) PUMP-FAKE. (Good pump-fake.)

4. Step 4: Start dribbling again, in what is commonly known as a double-dribble and is the kind of thing basketball players stop doing sometime around 5th grade.

5. Step 5: Make sure that the two refs, circled in red, who are both staring *right* at you, somehow go blind for 10 seconds and miss your indiscretion.

6. Step 6: Celebrate.

Seriously, be happy: you just got away with something that’s egregious even if you were playing for St. Mary Catherine’s Junior High JV team.

7. Step 7: Well, this isn’t really a step, but — HI HATERS. (That’s Portland coach Terry Stotts looking aggrieved and aghast, by the way. As he should.)

8. For a little added fun, let’s compare the way the hometown and Portland commentators reacted. Portland’s crew immediately realizes they just saw a miscarriage of justice.

“That’s a double-dribble!”
“Terry Stotts is saying, ‘What in the heck.’”
“Yeah, they missed it completely — three refs out there, it’s a double-dribble! … How do you miss that? I mean, he double-dribbled!”

9. The Toronto commentators, meanwhile, not only waited a few beats before even mentioning the possibility — they had to see it again.

“Amir Johnson with a smile and a new look, by the way.”
“I tell you what, Matt — I’d like to see that again. I think Amir got away with a little double-dribble right there!”
“And that’s maybe why he was smiling back at the bench.”
“If I’m not mistaken, he already used his dribble.”

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
     
    Now Buzzing