Haikus For The Most Glorious Facial Hair In Baseball

    Baseball is known for its quirky facial hair. And quirky facial hair deserves the quirkiest of poetic forms: haikus.

    Kevin Lincoln
    by Kevin Lincoln

    BuzzFeed Staff

    _

    John Axford, Relief Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers

    Getty Images

    Pirates once sailed the
    Seven Seas, seeking plunder.
    Now they play baseball.

    Brian Wilson, Relief Pitcher, San Francisco Giants

    DARRYL WEBB / Reuters

    You think it's a beard.
    Brian thinks it's a weapon
    Of mass destruction.

    Jayson Werth, Outfielder, Washington Nationals

    Paul Sancya / AP

    Let the animals
    Come to me; I am Jayson,
    Squirrel whisperer.

    David Ortiz, Designated Hitter, Boston Red Sox

    STEVE NESIUS / Reuters

    You can cut diamonds
    On the edges of David's
    Beard. Fuck a mustache.

    Clay Zavada, Relief Pitcher, Cincinnati Reds

    Rich Pilling / Getty Images

    Clay's stache can bench more
    Than any stache in the league.
    Do not mess with it.

    Manny Ramirez, Designated Hitter, Oakland Athletics

    Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

    Kiss the facial hair,
    Manny says. He then eats a
    Whole honey-baked ham.

    Jim Leyland, Manager, Detroit Tigers

    STEVE NESIUS / Reuters

    Jim Leyland's mustache
    Smells like cigarettes, wisdom.
    Drink deeply from it.