F-Conn: The University Of Connecticut Is Officially Banned From Next Year’s Tournament Because Of Low Grades

Maybe a husky ate the players’ homework.

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Sit still, friends, or I might make more bad puns.

The University of Connecticut, one of the country’s most prestigious and accomplished basketball programs, has lost their final appeal against a ban on the team appearing in the 2012-13 NCAA tournament. UConn’s sin: its players’ academic performance failed to meet the NCAA’s standards.

Because they’re STUDENT-athletes, remember? Not ATHLETE-students. Jeez.

This is the first time the NCAA has banned a team from the postseason for academic reasons. What about those Cincinnati or Maryland teams that supposedly had 0% graduation rates in the early 2000s, you ask? Uh, no. This isn’t actually about academics: it’s about the NCAA trying to prop up a failing system. We all know this, though, so I’m not going to go on too at length about it. I’ll just say this: If college basketball players can be suspended for their athletic performance, biology majors should be barred from taking finals if they can’t shoot 40% from the field.

Sic semper tyrannis, NCAA.

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