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19 Signs That You’re A Hardcore Pickup Basketball Player

This is the closest to basketball greatness most of us will ever get.

1. You’ve often been referred to by the color of your clothes.

“SHUT UP! You’re not guarding “red shirt,” you’re guarding Brian. My name is Brian.”

2. You’ve embarrassed yourself trying to do a cool handshake.

3. You know there’s nothing more stressful than taking a free throw to make a team.

4. You know not to wear your basketball shoes TO the court.

Dan Kitwood / Getty Images

And get them messed up on the street? Are you crazy?

5. You know what this feels like.

SHAKE IT OFF. You’ll be able to airball another shot in like, five minutes.

6. When you get into fights, they look less like this…

8. You’ve felt like this when a ball-hog keeps missing shots.

Pass the ball, dude.

9. You know the hotshot bro who tries to dunk isn’t going to come even close.

Good job, good effort, champ.

10. You know to stay away from that loud jackass who calls everything a foul.

I didn’t foul you. I didn’t even touch you. I can’t even see you. I’m not even playing right now.

11. You’ve had to guard a guy who had like, 12 inches and 70 pounds on you.

Come at me.

12. You’ve been guarded by a guy who didn’t take you seriously…

13. Until you destroyed him.

14. You’ve either slapped the floor on defense…

15. Or wanted to slap the guy, who slapped the floor on defense.

16. You know that winner stays on.

Scal knows.

17. You respect the sanctity of someone calling that they “got next.”

18. You’ve celebrated making a shot like a total goober.

OK, champ, you didn’t win a title, you just hit an unguarded jumper from the elbow. But we all do it.

19. And, no matter how bad you are, you’ve hit at least one game-winner in your career.

You’ll remember that moment forever.

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