Top Ten Reasons To Love William Hellmuth

Most people are already in love with William Hellmuth. But for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 29 years, here’s the top ten reasons why he is planet earth’s number one obsession.

1. 10. Cutest Male Baby the World Has Ever Seen.

His smile, a winning personality, perfectly shaped head and sparkly blue eyes made William Hellmuth the most adorable baby the world had ever seen. William Hellmuth held the record for CUTEST BABY ON EARTH for many years. His daughter was born in late 2011, making him now the cutest male baby as she holds the title of cutest female baby. He will likely go on being the very definition of what a baby boy should look like, unless he has a son some day.

2. 9. International Heartthrob

He’s a well traveled individual with a good understanding and respect for other cultures. He is passionate about overseas missions and in every country he has ever been in- the locals just can’t get enough of him. He’s adored in the U.S., admired in Mexico, cherished in Belize, revered in the Philippines, and worshiped as a god in Slovenia. In Russia, they tried to make him KING.

3. 8. He Can Rock A Mohawk

He looks so freaking fantastic in this picture - I’ve passed out twice just by looking at it. In 2004, William’s Mohawk Hottness was found to be the #1 cause of global warming. It’s just too amazing for the planet’s ecosystem to handle. He no longer wears his hair this way because he understands that with great power of handsomeness, comes great responsibility.

4. 7. His Genes Created the Cutest Baby Girl of All Time

Wendy Dawn Hellmuth could power a major metropolitan city with her cuteness alone. Thanks to her superior cuteness genes, which she inherited from her father, her adorableness is currently one of the world’s top natural resources.

5. 6. Everyone…Literally Everyone in the World Wants to Be Him.

From New York Fashion Week to the Center for the Advancement of Mankind, the trend that never goes out of style is William Hellmuth. The world can’t seem to get enough of his casual style, his classic manners, his quiet/confident swagger and his ability to make nerdy things cool. “Who’s that man? Who’s that man who is all man? Who’s that guy with a gleam in his eye and the world in his hand? William Hellmuth. That’s who.” - Maya Angelou 2012.

6. 5. He’s Freaking Tallented

Video available at: http://youtu.be/l9BCHvfaoGU.

He’s got tallent coming out the wha-zoo. If you don’t believe me, you’re a dummy Watch this video, ya dummy.

7. 4. He’s an Amazing Father

He is adored by his daughter. She races to the door to greet him when he comes home from work, craves his kisses and tickles, always wants his attention and loves the oatmeal he makes for her. He knows that having a strong father figure is a powerful force for good in the life of a girl and he doesn’t take his role in her life for granted. He gives her a bath every night and gets up with her early every morning. He takes her hiking, reads her books, sings with her, dances with her and will sit through entire episodes of Yo Gabba Gabba, just because it makes her happy. Oh, and he prays for her every day. So yeah, he sets the standard for Fathers.

8. 3. Superhuman Handsomeness

Do not adjust your screen. The handsomeness you are seeing is accurate. If your eyeballs haven’t been seared out of your head yet, then you can see the straight teeth, crystal blue eyes, strong brow and a jawline that you could pitch a tent under. This is what is known as classically handsome. And that BEARD. It just won’t quit.

9. 2. Being Married to Him is the Absolute Best

Being friends with William Hellmuth was a treat and dating him was a dream come true, but being his wife is the Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. He’s romantic, committed, kind, fun to be around, interesting to talk to, compassionate, humble, puts your needs above his own, intelligent, spontaneous and funny too. He’s good at handeling financies and he’s a good cook. He’s not a picky eater and is always ready to try something new. He enjoys watching old movies and has superior taste in music. He would like to take me out on more dates. He’s a man of God. He spends time in prayer and reads his Bible every morning. He enjoys cleaning the bathroom and does so without being asked. Let me say that again…..HE ENJOYS CLEANING THE BATHROOM AND DOES SO WITHOUT BEING ASKED. Swoon!

10. 1. This

See above.

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