1. You ask people how to get close to the Hollywood sign.
Step one: Go to the Hollywood sign. Step two: Get arrested.
3. You think you’re the only person to have ever thought of taking a picture with that “crazy lamp post thing” in front of LACMA.
4. You have no problem getting down on the dirty sidewalk and sticking your hands into a celebrity’s hand prints.
Do you even know where those celebrities have been?
5. You’re taking pictures of everything, because it all looks like you saw it in a movie.
LOOK LOOK LOOK IT’S THE PRETTY WOMAN HOTEL! Oh, wait, no it’s not.
6. You attempt to seriously shop on Rodeo drive.
You’re not going shopping, you’re going to go look at things no reasonable human can afford, and then you’re going to the Cheesecake Factory.
7. You’re riding the trolly at The Grove.
The Grove is not that big, it does not need its own public transportation system.
8. You ask people: “Where do all the celebrities hang out?”
In the hills, away from you.
11. You’re at the 3rd & Fairfax Farmer’s Market at 11 a.m. on a weekday.
12. You waaaay underestimate how for away Disneyland is from LA.
Yeah, it’s close, if you’re driving there in the middle of the night.
13. You voluntarily go to Hollywood and Highland, because it seems like it will be fun and not at all a hurricane of fanny packs and cargo shorts.
And also to come and appreciate our Egyptian heritage, or something.
15. You came with a group in matching T-shirts to be on The Price is Right.
16. You go see movies at the Chinese Theatre and not the Arclight.
17. You think it’s reasonable to try to go to the beach for only 45 minutes.
“Los Angeles is right by the ocean! How far away and super involved could picking a beach, fighting traffic, and finding parking possibly be?”
18. You go to the Museum of Jurassic Technology believing that it’s a real museum.
19. You think it’s a good idea to stay at a hotel on the Sunset Strip.
So that you might be soothed to sleep by the yelling people outside the House of Blues.