21 Things You Will Be Surprised By When You Turn 30

You will definitely not wish you were younger.

1. When you look at college kids now, they will not seem cool and carefree. They will seem dirty and broke. This is accurate.

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For the first time in your life, being back in college does not seem better than the real world.

2. You do not magically become uncool.

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You do not suddenly become a person who hates all the shows, movies, music, people, and activities that you liked at 29. That is not how brains work.

3. Your parents will start to come to you for advice.

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You know your parents view you as an adult when they ask for you advice about how to handle Aunt Bobbie's Thanksgiving freakout. AND YOU ACTUALLY HAVE AN ANSWER.

4. No one will judge you if you like to party...

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5. ... But they WILL judge you if they still have to take care of your drunk ass.

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Be the person taking other people to Denny's, don't be the person who passes out in the Denny's bathroom.

6. Even if you're kind of the worst at home decorating, you will start to wish that you were good at it.

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I mean, if you're going to be hanging around in your living room a bunch, it might as well be a really cool living room.

7. If people talk shit about you, you will not be able to find the energy to care that much.

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It's not that you won't try to care. You really will! It's just that you'll be better able to see the insecurity underneath the shit talk, and it will be harder for you to be mad about it.

8. If you haven't already, you will discover how great your siblings are.

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If your brothers and sisters actually ARE hidden treasures, this is around the time when you and your siblings will start (roughly) being the same age, and you can start teaming up with them to keep mom and dad off your back.

9. You will look pretty much the same as you did at 27.

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Your face does not change that much in three years, unless you spent that three years on an arctic fishing boat, or inside a tanning bed. You look the same, and you are not any less desirable.

10. If someone refers to you as "old", it's because THEY are actually worried about getting old. It's not because you actually look or seem old.

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Feel a little bit bad for them, they are probably really worried about getting older while you seem to have it handled.

11. You will actually be good at things.

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This may come as a huge surprise, but it turns out that 8 years in the real world will make you actually good at a couple of things, including (but not limited to) your job, cooking, keeping your apartment clean, or even relationships!

Granted, you're not 40, so you're not an expert, but it's a good start.

12. You will want to try new things EVEN MORE than when you were in your twenties.

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You may think that you'll want to hang out all the time on your couch, but having a little bit more money and being bored of parties full of boxed wine will make you actually want to branch out.

13. People will assume you have your shit together... unless you prove to them otherwise.

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All you have to do is not disavow them of that notion, and you're golden!

14. The teens on TV will start to look REALLY old to you.

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Real teens are not this good at style and standing comfortably next to the opposite sex.

15. You're really excited to wear your mom's old clothes, because they are now well and truly back in style.

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Plus, your mom probably didn't buy this stuff from Forever 21, so there's a good chance it might hold up for awhile longer!

16. You will Instagram yourself working out... but it's so you can shame yourself for not working out.

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Because you now have enough money to own a nice couch, it is very tempting to hang out on that nice couch for hours and hours and hours and hours and zzzzzzzz.

17. Your tolerance for shots will plummet.

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It does not matter how good a drinker you are. For whatever reason, at the stroke of thirty, shots become your kryptonite. Stay away.

18. You won't hold onto relationships that feel like relationshits.

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In your twenties, FOMO would make you go have drinks and attend parties with people who truly got on your nerves. When you turn thirty, you suddenly have the confidence to exfoliate all that dead social excess from your life.

19. You will start to truly love your body.

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Yes, you will still have days when you want to throw all of your hair into hair jail. But you will be feel better about giving yourself compliments and growing into your look.

20. Small children will start showing up to your parties... and you'll realize it's actually not that bad.

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Do you know who usually brings good beer to a party? A dad who is super grateful that you let him bring his toddler. Bonus: this toddler will end up actually being a tiny hilarious source of entertainment that you don't even have to clean-up after.

21. You are still you... just less dumb.

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You aren't as smart as you will be at 40 (something to look forward to), and you may not have ticked off everything on your bucket list yet. But the one thing you have accomplished that you can be proud of is that you are absolutely, 100%, without a doubt way smarter than 20-year-old you. Hooray!