1. You regularly smack your hips into tables, glasses full of liquid, or heavy doors.
2. Finding a bikini that fits often means buying tops and bottoms that come from different bathing suits.
3. Boarding a packed flight without hip checking a random stranger is more or less impossible.
Sorry, random stranger!
4. Trying to get out of your seat in a packed movie theater? Yeah, someone’s probably getting a face full of booty.
5. You’ve got a hate/hate relationship with Spanx.
I love you, super-tight dress, but I love my organs more.
6. You spend a lot of time googling how to dress your body.
7. Getting a coat to fit on all your body parts at the same time requires some Macguyvering.
8. Full skirts make you look like a cupcake top.
But if it’s really cute, you’re probably going to try it on anyway.
9. You’re not super worked up about not having a thigh gap.
You don’t even have a gap between your boobs.
10. Shift dresses are a one-way ticket to looking super boxy.
11. When you run, you jiggle so much that you almost need a seatbelt for your body.
12. You are absolutely not buying anything without trying it on…
You know too well the nightmare of something fitting well in the calves but not in the thighs.
14. Shopping online means having to buy two sizes of everything.
You’re basically buying fit insurance. And paying out the ass for it upfront.
15. Pants do not fit you the same in the front as they do in the back.
Sometimes, you love how the front fits so much, you consider just buying them, and walking backward everywhere.
16. You do not understand why clothing stores assume curvy people are all the same height.
17. All your jeans are stretchy, so you only get a few wears in before you get a case of saggy butt.
BAD JEANS. YOU GO STRAIGHT TO THE WASHER AND DRYER.
19. You have about 20 million belts, and they’re all used for cinching your waist.
20. You are literally counting the seconds until the wrap dress comes back.
21. All your clothes are forever sliding around and needing adjustments.
It’s always fun to look down to see that your skirt has hiked itself up to your butt. THANKS, SKIRT.
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