1. Pants are experts at pointing out all of your terrible body problems.
Like an overbearing mother you wear all day.
5. You know who was a total loser before he got rid of his pants? WALT.
6. You know who might not have been pulled into Walt’s horrible web of lies and destruction if he hadn’t been slowed down by pants? JESSE.
8. If you have a broken zipper, you’re gonna have a bad time.
9. The coin pocket is more or less useless.
Everyone knows what you’re up to, buddy.
10. You always feel the need to keep pants that don’t fit, even though they just hang in the back of the closet like bitchy girls making fun of you.
11. The only point of rear dress pants pockets is to force you to awkwardly sit on your phone.
Because they’re too small FOR ANYTHING ELSE.
13. You put anything in this pocket? Yeah, it’s gonna fall out.
14. All you think about when sitting down is how much you want to unzip them.
15. Pants are like a thousand seam rips waiting to happen.
YOU HAD ONE JOB, PANTS.
17. Which of these two do you think would be more fun to get a beer with? Hint: It is not the one wearing pants.
18. When you finally get to take off your pants at night, how do you feel? GREAT.
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