1. Sometimes you feel like the only practical person in the room.
2. When an inspirational quote pops onto your Facebook or Twitter feed, it actually makes your day worse.
There is literally nothing more depressing than badly photoshopped inspirational quotes.
3. When someone has a really bad idea, and you have to decide whether or not to shoot it down and risk making them mad.
SIGH. I’m just trying to save us all from tears, embarrassment, and/or a trip to the emergency room, OK?
4. When someone posts tons of pictures of their baby doing extremely boring things, and you are expected to be excited.
We get it, your baby has a face, good for your baby.
5. When someone keeps talking about how perfect and amazing their family is, and you have nothing to contribute to the conversation.
6. Your guard is up 500% of the time, so it takes a lot for you to trust anyone.
7. You have a hard time giving a crap about proposal stories, or worse, PROM-posal stories.
How many proposals does one person need in their life?!
8. You visibly cringe whenever anyone talks openly about how they are “destined for fame.”
Srsly, anyone who wastes their energy talking about being destined for greatness is not destined for greatness.
9. Whenever anyone tells you to smile, as if smiling is the thing that will fix everything.
10. Wanting to pull out your hair when someone says, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
That is a ridiculous expression that doesn’t mean anything. Why are we still using it? It is 2014, Jesus H.
11. That goes double for whenever anyone tries to talk about every cloud having a silver lining.
Cool, while you hang out looking for your silver lining, I’m going to go ahead and look for an actual solution to this cloud problem.
12. When someone tries to force you to be optimistic, even though it makes no sense to you.
13. When a friend insists on posting inspiring videos, and your inner troll is screaming to comment something snarky.
14. People who are relentlessly positive always exhaust you.
15. When someone talks about how world peace is possible if we all just love each other, you have to shut your eyes from frustration.
War has nothing to do with whether or not we love each other, it’s a complicated socio-political issue involving resources an — OH MY GOD NEVERMIND. JUST FORGET IT.
16. The hashtag #Blessed makes you want to throw your computer into the ocean, forever.
17. Sometimes your expectations can be a little bit too low.
Or not low enough.
18. Pointing out both the pros and cons of every situation can make you seem like a total bummer.
19. When you end up being right about something, and you have to fight the urge to say, “I told you so.”
20. You are frustrated to death by people who don’t understand that everyone isn’t going to like everyone.
Everyone doesn’t like every food. It’s the same thing as that.