Meeting The Parents: Expectations Vs. Reality

What could be more fun than forcing your parents to think about you and sex?

1. Planning Expectation: When you’re ready to introduce your SO to your parents, it will happen easily.

2. Reality: Scheduling can be a nightmare.

3. Expectation: You’ll wear nice clothes, so your SO’s parents will think you are a mature and sophisticated citizen.

4. Reality: They saw what car you pulled up in, you aren’t fooling anybody.

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5. Greeting Expectation: You’ll shake both parents’ hands, so as to strategically communicate your adultness.

6. Reality: When you try to shake their hands, they will go in for a big, awkward hug.

7. Fancy Dinner Expectation: You’ll have a nice fancy dinner together, as adults.

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8. Reality: You’ll spill things on yourself, and then do something awkward like ask permission to order wine.

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Is there a kids table I can banish myself to?

9. Expectation: You’ll accidentally say something stupid in front of them.

10. Reality: You’ll think something stupid in front of them, and then tell the internet about it later.

11. Conversation Expectation: You won’t talk about politics or religion, because it’s impolite and doesn’t matter.

12. Reality: Your SO’s parents will absolutely bring up politics and religion.

Because if you’re dating their kid, both those things matter a lot.

13. Drinking Expectation: You’ll all have some drinks together, and it will be a beautiful bonding experience.

14. Reality: You will all have some drinks together, and you will try a little too hard to be funny.

15. Expectation: You dad will interrogate your SO about their “intentions.”

16. Reality: Your dad would rather light himself on fire than talk about anything involving you and sex.

He will instead spend an hour showing your SO his weird model train/coin/sports memorabilia collection while he works up the courage to remind your SO to “be safe.”

17. Sleeping Arrangement Expectation: You and your SO can be trusted to share a room without weirding anybody out.

18. Reality: Your SO will be sent to sleep in the basement or the attic, like they are a ghost.

19. Saying Goodbye Expectation: They adore you, and are counting the seconds until you come back for Chrismathanksgivkwanzakuh!

20. Saying Goodbye Reality: It was awkward and uncomfortable, but at least they love how happy you make their kid.

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