Ah, Muni: San Francisco’s public transit system and favorite four-letter word. We can’t live with it, can’t live without it, and definitely can’t help but meet a couple strange cats during our daily commutes.
Forget what that slut Lydia told you in middle school. These days, the sexual bases are starting to look less like a diamond and more like a convoluted maze of Tinder rejections, vodka-Redbull cocktails, and morning-after bedbug paranoia. Here’s your guide to romance in these modern times, as told by someone with virtually no baseball knowledge but a lot of experience staring blankly at strangers in bars.
An ex-lover is like a comfortable pair of jeans: a familiar, reliable standby when you want to feel like your old self again. You kept them, loved them, and when the threads finally went bare, you stashed them away in your closet… but not, like, away away. After all, you took all that time to break them in. They probably still fit, right? And they definitely wouldn’t look as good on anyone else.