1. YOU’RE FLYING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS TODAY!!!!
And you’re actually super prepared this time. You even packed last night.
2. Except wait - wasn’t your ride supposed to be here 20 mins ago?
3. THEY’RE HERE - but then you have to slog through this monstrosity.
4. After spending 45 mins longer than you should have on the road, you finally arrive at your terminal.
5. Where now you only have 30 mins till your flight boards.
6. The stupid self-check in machine is broken.
7. Fine, you’ll get in the ticket line then. But where is that though?
I believe this is usually described as a clusterfuck.
8. Giving in, you ask one of the terrifying airline employees for help.
10. When you finally get your boarding pass, you realize you still have to clear security.
11. Giving in you finally ask one of the surly airline guys for help.
12. You really don’t want to ask this guy if you can cut in front of him.
13. But it’s the only way you’ll make the flight, so deep breath and -
Make a run for it. No just kidding, that guarantees you’ll miss you flight after being held for questioning by security.
14. Most of the passengers are just like:
Before letting you pass.
15. Except for that disgruntled mother at the front -
To be fair look at the hair tugging monster that’s attached to her.
16. Who let’s you know how she really feels.
17. And in case you forgot: the volume of one backpack is equal to 16 and a half bins.
Niether physics or the TSA can explain this.
18. That is, after the TSA makes you throw out all your toiletries.
19. While you’re in this upright coffin -
AKA a metal detector.
20. You desperately pray you won’t be selected for a ‘random search’.
21. And when you make it through successfully, you start to feel like you could actually do this.
This stage is called hubris.
23. And says the worst possible thing, “You’re going to have to open up your bag”.
24. He proceeds to confiscate the expensive cocktail mixing set you bought for your Dad.
Cause it has a paring knife in it.
25. And you just know it’s going home with him tonight.
How grudges begin.
26. At this point your flight’s been boarding for 15 mins already-
27. And you’re sprinting through the airport desperately hoping you make your flight.
28. That’s when you get an email update on your flight status: 4 HOUR DELAY - due to weather.
29. Even though it looks like this outside your gate.
Idk, global warming?
30. But at least you can take a super comfortable nap?
On this torture device?
31. Better than drinking at a disgustingly overpriced airport bar.
32. Where all these cheery friends/families/couples will be loudly fighting in a half hour.
Fact: No one else cares about your meeting-the-parents-for-the-first-time anxiety.
33. Forget about trying to connect to the shitty airport internet.
You’ll wish you had asked for an iPad last christmas.
34. And just avoid that depressingly outdated airport bookstore.
If you haven’t read Water For Elephants by now, you never will.
36. Pray these guys aren’t your seat buddies.
Sorry new parents - we feel for you. Just not with our ears.