Welcome To Your Holiday Travel Hell

Airports are the WORST.

1. YOU’RE FLYING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS TODAY!!!!

And you’re actually super prepared this time. You even packed last night.

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2. Except wait - wasn’t your ride supposed to be here 20 mins ago?

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3. THEY’RE HERE - but then you have to slog through this monstrosity.

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4. After spending 45 mins longer than you should have on the road, you finally arrive at your terminal.

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5. Where now you only have 30 mins till your flight boards.

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6. The stupid self-check in machine is broken.

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7. Fine, you’ll get in the ticket line then. But where is that though?

I believe this is usually described as a clusterfuck.

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8. Giving in, you ask one of the terrifying airline employees for help.

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9. Who are just like:

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10. When you finally get your boarding pass, you realize you still have to clear security.

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11. Giving in you finally ask one of the surly airline guys for help.

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12. You really don’t want to ask this guy if you can cut in front of him.

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13. But it’s the only way you’ll make the flight, so deep breath and -

Make a run for it. No just kidding, that guarantees you’ll miss you flight after being held for questioning by security.

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14. Most of the passengers are just like:

Before letting you pass.

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15. Except for that disgruntled mother at the front -

To be fair look at the hair tugging monster that’s attached to her.

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16. Who let’s you know how she really feels.

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17. And in case you forgot: the volume of one backpack is equal to 16 and a half bins.

Niether physics or the TSA can explain this.

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18. That is, after the TSA makes you throw out all your toiletries.

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19. While you’re in this upright coffin -

AKA a metal detector.

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20. You desperately pray you won’t be selected for a ‘random search’.

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21. And when you make it through successfully, you start to feel like you could actually do this.

This stage is called hubris.

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22. But then this guy stops you -

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23. And says the worst possible thing, “You’re going to have to open up your bag”.

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24. He proceeds to confiscate the expensive cocktail mixing set you bought for your Dad.

Cause it has a paring knife in it.

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25. And you just know it’s going home with him tonight.

How grudges begin.

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26. At this point your flight’s been boarding for 15 mins already-

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27. And you’re sprinting through the airport desperately hoping you make your flight.

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28. That’s when you get an email update on your flight status: 4 HOUR DELAY - due to weather.

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29. Even though it looks like this outside your gate.

Idk, global warming?

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30. But at least you can take a super comfortable nap?

On this torture device?

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31. Better than drinking at a disgustingly overpriced airport bar.

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32. Where all these cheery friends/families/couples will be loudly fighting in a half hour.

Fact: No one else cares about your meeting-the-parents-for-the-first-time anxiety.

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33. Forget about trying to connect to the shitty airport internet.

You’ll wish you had asked for an iPad last christmas.

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34. And just avoid that depressingly outdated airport bookstore.

If you haven’t read Water For Elephants by now, you never will.

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35. Just try and get comfortable,

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36. Pray these guys aren’t your seat buddies.

Sorry new parents - we feel for you. Just not with our ears.

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37. And finally breathe a sigh of relief.

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38. Because you actually made your flight.

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