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15 Things Alanis Morrisette Is Cooler Than

Why did Alanis always date such tools when she is so flawless and amazing herself…

1. Dave Coulier’s pinstrip/picnic table combo.

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2. And his weak-ass skating.

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3. But especially whatever’s happening to Dave here.

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4. Dash Mihok’s unfortunately small hats.

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5. And his stupid world premiere.

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6. Definitely Dash’s awkward suit jacket/denim jeans combo.

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7. Ryan Adams’ Colonel Sanders tie (wut).

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8. And his ridiculously pink sunglasses.

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9. But especially Ryan’s sensual microphone make out sessions.

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10. Ryan Reynolds’ leather jacket THAT BUTTONS (why?).

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11. And his larger than life movie poster.

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12. Sandra Bullock’s awkward arm candy.

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13. Tom Ballanco’s weird luggage tag(?) jewelry.

14. And Tom’s fake yoga t-shirts.

15. But mostly, Tom Ballanco’s super cringy People Magazine profile.

It’s okay Alanis - we’ve all dated losers in the past.

But you figured how revenge is best served.

Never change you flawless 90’s queen.

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