3. You’ve already signed away half a month’s pay on one of these bad boys.
5. You’ve even turned it in on your way to work! Congrats! People will tell tales of this amazing feat for eons to come.
6. However, you can’t help but feel like you’ve forgotten something.
7. FUUUUUUU - You were so busy being responsible about rent, you forgot about bills.
Better get online fast.
8. There goes $100 so your weird subletter can jerk off to Muppet porn on the Internet.
9. And another $150 cause your other roommate believes in “Christmas all year round!”
10. By the time the all bills are paid, you’ve sunk an entire socioeconomic class.
11. But still, you handled your business. Pat yourself on the back.
12. But then, an e-mail: YOU ARE ONE DAY LATE ON YOUR STUDENT LOAN REPAYMENT, THIS IS SERIOUS AND MAY RESULT IN FINES.
13. Thanks to those delinquency charges, you’ve basically paid rent twice today.
14. It’s OK, you still have wine and all that prepaid cable at home to comfort you.
15. A couple glasses later, you’re starting to feel better. Who needs money, anyway?
16. A bottle and a half later, you feel great. You’ll be making bank tomorrow!
17. That’s when your landlord calls to tell you your rent check bounced.
In The News Today
- Iran's parliament approved a nuclear deal with six other world powers, including the U.S. ›
- Police officers in the UK will record anti-Muslim hate crimes as a specific category in crime statistics for the first time. ›
- There were three stabbings in Jerusalem on Monday, part of a monthlong wave of violence between Israelis and Palestinians. ›