“Supernatural” As Told By Someone Who’s Never Seen It

Literally everything I know about this show comes from my tumblr dash.

1. So there’s these two brother lovers.

They’re definitely brothers, and maybe lovers?

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2. This is the pretty one. He’s like America’s Next Top Model pretty.

He used to model these……….brick pants? Under the name Jenny Thunder?

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3. Top Model loves pie. Which is not a metaphor.

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6. The other one is a very attractive moose.

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7. And they hunt demons together and save the world and are humanity’s last hope.

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8. The brother lovers hate their super hot Dad who also used to hunt demons.

IDK he left them to kill things? Or maybe just to get more cigarettes? He’s dead? Or maybe in like purgatory?

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9. And they love their fake Dad who also hunts demons.

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10. Their tragic backstory begins with their Mom on the ceiling.

Cause of death: Demons. Recommended Therapy: Dedicate your life and the life of your two sons to avenging her death.

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11. Apparently the Moose has an Electra complex because his girlfriend, Tyra from FNL, dies the same way.

It’s okay Tyra you get to date Tim Riggins and Landry, you don’t need this moose.

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12. Actually all the *love interests on this show seem to die horrifically.

Poor Duncan Kane’s dead baby mama from Veronica Mars.

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14. EVERYONE on this show seems to die horrifically.

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15. (pause to pour one out for the redshirts)

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16. But they seem to kick ass on the way out so it’s fine.

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17. Unless they come back possessed? Pretty sure she’s the Devil now.

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18. Just kidding Jacob from Lost is the Devil. And he has a huge crush on the Moose.

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19. It’s okay though, the brother lovers have this Yogurt Man to help them fight the Devil.

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20. Yogurt Man is like this totally fearsome reBeL angel.

(note sexy brooding black wings)

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21. His smack talk might need work though.

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22. Actually all his talk might need work.

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25. That’s okay, Top Model loves Yogurt Man anyway.

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26. So it’s obviously going to end tragically and in fire.

I’m sensing a pattern.

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27. Don’t cry over your lost yogurty love Top Model, you’ll feel better after a milkshake.

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28. Why not invite your friend the New Guy over so he can cheer you up with sock puppet theater?

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29. Or blast some epic thrash metal while driving too fast in your studmobile?

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30. See? You totally feel better, dance it out Top Model.

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31. J/K this is the initiation dance of the brother lovers’ secret midnight society, Team Free Will. I can only assume they sashay demons to death.

Respect the rituals damn it.

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32. And that’s basically it, that’s the show.

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33. Conclusion: Mark Sheppard is on it and therefore it must be good.

Adding to my watch list ASAP.

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