1.
Wait your turn or a green evil monkey in a turban will make this face at you.
2.
Do not help old ladies across the street unless you want a purse to the face.
3.
Not even superpowers will help you figure out boys.
4.
Getting older isn't the same thing as growing up.
5.
Never sing unsolicited.
7.
Or don't. That's good too.
8.
Voodoo is not applicable to menial chores.
9.
Affection is, unfortunately, earned.
10.
This is how you do F@%! OFF face.
11.
Everything's more fun with disguises.
13.
CLOWNS ARE THE WORST.
14.
Always trust an adult whose face you've never seen.
15.
The alternate universe version of you will inevitable be way more punk rock.
16.
This is the most painful form of torture.
17.
Villains aren't born evil.
18.
But they still have to do paperwork.
19.
Ladies want you to talk science to them.
20.
Some people are just meant to be followers.
21.
The secret to perfect hair is to make sure it has a life of its own.
22.
The band aid approach is the best way to deal with breakups.
23.
Sometimes this is the best way to solve problems.
24.
What you want is fortune, what you get is a platitude.
25.
There are some problems that even castles can't solve.
27.
Don't fall in with a bad crowd.
29.
Those who seem the craziest often have the best advice.
30.
There's no such thing as a dumb question.
31.
Just because someone like you hasn't done it before doesn't mean that you shouldn't.
32.
You can find anything on the internet.
33.
Dress however you want.
34.
You're probably smarter than everyone else around you.
35.
One third of every room you'll ever be in hates kitties.
