10. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
My Mom Before: Oh that goofy guy from “How I Met Your Mother” made a movie!
My Mom During: OMG HE’S WAVING HIS DICK AT HER.
My Mom During: Children play with those chess sets….
9. 8 Mile
My Parents Before: A documentary about a historic rapper? Sounds promising.
My Parents During: NO NOT THE NICE GIRL FROM CLUELESS….you’re never allowed to listen to rap music again.
My Dad Before: So everyone’s talking about this cutting political parody called Borat?
My Dad During: Is he…touching…outside of Victoria’s Secret?
7. Hard Candy
My Parents Before: Oh hey we rented a movie that Juno’s in!
My Parents During: NO NO SHE IS A LITTLE GIRL TURN IT OFF
My Parents Before: A historical love story that doomed from the start? What lovely cinematic adventure to go on!
My Parents During: OMG OMG COVER HER EYES SHE CAN’T SEE BOOBS SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE BOOBS YET.
5. Black Swan
My Mom Before: I hear it’s been nominated for and Oscar and that the dancing is stunning.
My Mom During: I AM NOT ENJOYING THIS.
4. Brokeback Mountian
My Dad Before: (flipping through channels on TV) Oh look that guy who plays a knight is now a cowboy.
My Dad During: (flips channel as fast as possible) So inappropriate….but not wrong, gay people are fine. Great even. Gays are…uh….just ask your Mom. And don’t Google it.
3. Team America: World Police
My Mom Before: Girls day! Let’s go see a movie - those South Park guys have a movie out right?
My Mom During: (gets up and leaves)
2. The American Pie Franchise
My Dad Before: What? You told me to rent a comedy.
My Dad During: If you ever make any of the same choices that these people have made, I will have failed as a human being.
1. Clerks 2
My Parents Before: Clerks? That’s about a bunch of nerds, right? and a comic book store? It’ll be funny let’s go.
My Parent During:…………What’s about to happen to that donkey?