6 Things I Wish I Knew As A Teen

Your heart will heal.

1. You have no obligation to be happy all the time.

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Some days you're going to wake up and feel like you don’t have a reason to get out of bed. Some days, things won’t go your way: You’ll do poorly on a test, and that boy who makes your heart beat faster will chose a different girl with blonder hair and straighter teeth. Some days, everything will go your way: You’ll ace the test, and that boy’s heart will beat just as fast as yours when he looks at you. But even on the good days, you still might not want to get out of bed. Even the “good” days can be bad.

You should know that you will have inexplicable lows whose origin you cannot justify or pinpoint. You should know that there are names for what you're suffering from, and those names are depression and anxiety. You’re not a freak. And you’re definitely not alone. You should know that people love you and care about you very much, even if you can’t see it right now.

You should know that it gets better. And then it gets worse. And then it gets better again. You should know every day is different. But more than anything, you should know that every day you’re worth it.

2. Your body is beautiful.

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Your body is beautiful because it’s different and because it’s yours. Your proportions will never be exactly the way you’d like them to be — you’ll never be tall enough, or short enough, or thin enough.

But your body is beautiful because it’s the one you were given. And it is a body you must, and you will, learn to love. It is a body that will win races and will swim in the Pacific Ocean. It is a body that will allow you to belly-laugh at a good joke and dance to your favorite song. You can spend hours, or days, or even months wishing you had a different one, or instead you could realize how dang lucky you are to have the one you’ve got.

It is a body you might not love now, but someday you will.

3. You'll never have it all figured out.

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You’re never going to look at your life and know for sure that you’re doing it right. You’re going to question if you’re living in the right place, or if you’re doing the right job, or if you’re spending your time with the right people.

You’re going to have ups and you’re going to have downs. And you’re going to feel too old to be so utterly confused. But it’s OK to be confused. And it’s OK to not have it all figured it.

It’s OK to take it one day at a time and hope that you’re doing it right.

4. You don't have to hang out with people who suck.

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Sometimes, the people who suck win popularity contests and the people who don’t sit alone at lunch tables. It’s OK to sit alone. And it’s OK to be different. It’s OK to have two good friends rather than walk around wearing a collection of people as accessories.

It’s OK to do the things you like, even if they’re not cool. It’s OK to wear different clothes and dye your hair blue. It’s OK to listen to the band that no one is listening to. I promise you that almost anyone who was cool in high school is not cool later in life.

I promise you at the end of the movie, the nerds win.

5. Be nice to your parents.

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I know your parents seem like the worst right now. And I know that Mom really should knock before she walks into your room. And trust me, I can’t believe she threw out your favorite CD either. But be nice to your parents, because they’re all you’ve got.

Be nice to your parents because you might not fully understand the sacrifices they've made for you. Be nice because when you get older, you'll realize that putting a roof over your head and food on the table is no easy feat. Be nice because they deserve it.

6. Your heart will heal.

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You’re going to have your heart broken and it’s going to hurt. You’re going to fall in love in a way that fills you up inside, and you’re going to get hurt in a way that makes you feel turned inside out. For a while, you’re going to hurt so much that with every breath you take, you can feel the air flowing through the holes inside you.

You’re going to remember only the good times and you’re going to forget about the bad ones. Your selective memory will only remember kissing under the bright lights and it will completely forget about the fights.

But then one day, you’ll go a few minutes without thinking of them. Then you’ll go an hour. Then you’ll go a whole day. Then you’ll go a week.

And when you do think of them, maybe you’ll still feel the holes inside you, but I promise you they won’t feel quite as big.